Hannah's Wonderland

Friday, May 18, 2012

Monday, May 14, 2012

Tips on How to become Indispensable in your Company

Believe it or not, working your ass off is not the main key to become vital in your company. Of course, slacking is also not an option. You need this few tips to acquire absolute immunity to termination.

Numero uno; be absolutely available every time. Let your Manager or your Team Lead feel your presence at all times. Make him or her depend on you. Let him or her become absolutely powerless without you. It’s like you’re his/her Knight and Shining Armor who will always save the day. I don’t just mean work-related stuffs, but also domestic, love live, money etc. Be that tiny little worker that crawls inside his/her life as deeply as possible. In that way, at times that you will screw up (this will happen, believe me) you’ll have a free pass.

Second, be “that somebody”. Meaning, you need to establish yourself to become “that somebody” in your work place. So when someone asks anything about you, your co-workers will instantly say, “Aaahh that’s , the brainstormer!!!” .Though be very careful in choosing what kind of somebody you wanted. You don’t want to be, “Gina, the ghost seat mate” or “Warren, the corporate douchebag”. I don’t want to burst your bubbles but the corporate world still has social hierarchy, just like in high school. Only, the nerds dominate the dumb jocks and hotties. Though wannabes are always be wannabes no matter how much they aged.

Third, don’t fart. Yes, I literally mean fart, that disgusting smelly gas coming out of your ass. Most of the companies have proper ventilation and there’s no way in hell that you can hide the smell of your rotten gas. So I strongly suggest that you should hold your fart when inside the office’s premises. If you can really fight the urge to blow that air crap away, GO OUT or forever live in shame.

Next, sleep with your boss. If you are a man/woman of shaky moral ethics, climb in the bed with your boss. A woman’s body is capable of producing oxytocin, a hormone responsible for the woman’s unexplained emotional attachment to her mate after intercourse. So this is a win-win for dudes who has lady boss. For girls, just master the art of kama sutra so you could lure your boss in bed and never get tired of you… (and will not fire you). It gets better if your boss is married. You can black mail him/her into ruining his credibility by letting the world knows his/her infidelity. But of course, expect that your soul will definitely burn in hell afterwards. Well if you consider this as an option, then I guess you won’t mind spending your damnation in Satan’s armpit.

Join whatever crap your boss is into. That will make help you establish yourself to become one of his/allies. Be very interested in every details of your boss’ hobby. If possible, browse some books and exert effort in researching all information you think needed for conversation purposes. Soon enough, you’ll be his/her Golf buddy or Basketball team mate in and outside office.

Disclaimer: This is just me; attempting to do a satirical write-up… so please do not take it seriously. But if you want to, it’s on you.

Saturday, May 12, 2012

What's Inside My Bag?: Anjsh Lacanlale

It's been awhile since I posted an entry for my What's In your Bag portion and because it's Mother's day tomorrow, I will feature my uber Hot Working Mama friend... Ladies and gents, my sister from a different mother and father -- Anjsh Lacanlale.

Below are the photos taken from Anjsh's work bag.