High School Drama Goes Corporate

Disclaimer: I wrote this entry as an abridged version of my speech for the Career Orientation Week that I was supposed to attend but wasn't able to. 

When the headmaster handed me my diplomat and flipped the tassel on my graduation cap, I knew it was the beginning of a new life. As I clenched my fist and looked at the remnants of my student life, I knew I have to bid goodbye to my youth and welcome adulthood. I have high expectations and fruitful dreams. I am ambitious and passionate because back then, I knew what I want and I am so geared up to fulfill it. I perpetually remind myself that immaturity is no longer an option, bullying is not a way to get respect and ignorance is not an excuse to commit mistakes. Everything should be done according to what is right and what is best for most people. I can still remember the vast happiness and unexplainable excitement I have on the day of my graduation. I am so ready to leave my childhood life and be an adult. I am so thrilled to face people who are worldly and open-minded. I am so ecstatic to meet people who will cut shit and owned up to it because after all, adulthood is the real world.

Boy was I wrong the whole time…

High school is a dry run to prepare us from facing what comes after because the real world is much depressing and repugnant. The real world is just like high school. The difference is people are wearing suits and paying taxes. I am so disappointed when I find out that the real world also has jocks, nerds, outcasts, preps, sluts and royalties—and seriously, each one of them is exactly the ones I hated or loved when I was still in my teen-ish years. Bullies have stronger bites; back-stabbers have deeper stabs and ass-kissing are more than just a power-sucking-make-out. People in the real world are hungrier for success and power so they CAN and they WILL eat you alive if you go against their way. So in order for you to survive, you have two options; go against them and be eaten alive or be one of them and eat the weaklings down to their very last breath.

Five years after my graduation, I am tediously performing the latter. I chose not to be eaten alive and be the one in power. I kissed ass even licked foot to get what I want. I am a heartless bitch and I am not afraid to show it. But being an asshole is not what I signed up for. Even if this is a matter of choice, it is not something I want. I tried to escape, quitting from one company to another only to end up doing exactly what I have escaped for. It is a horrible travesty and it sucks that I can’t do anything about it. So for whatever crap I will do in the future… I am sorry. People like me are not born asshole; I just had to be… so I could fit in and survive.    

Romance Intolerance; The Death of Shakespearean Love

When I was a baby, my parents discovered that I have an allergy towards food with lactose content when I got a bad reaction from the regular baby milk that they fed me. From then on, I live my infant life with soy-based baby products or anything without lactose as an ingredient. My mom told me that I really don’t like the awful taste of my soya-based milk and I got used to snatching feeding bottles from other kids. Though it was bad, my mom allowed me from time to time just to replenish the cravings. My parents and the doctors didn’t know where it came from and reside to the fact that maybe I was born that way. I am not the only person who has allergies from food and certain substance. And despite of the advance technology that we have right now, medical experts are still unaware where these allergies came from and still dwell from the same reason that… we are born that way. However, if certain allergies from food and various materials are hereditary or obtained from genes, I can’t help but wonder, how about intolerance from emotions and feelings? Where are these shit came from? Is it safe to say that maybe we are just born that way?

I had this assumption a few days back when I woke up one morning and thought, “Women consider big romantic gestures as sweet yet very hard to believe because after all there is a fine line between true love and good acting…” I just recently discovered that most women today are, for lack of better term, cynical when it comes to romance. When a man is pulling a Shakespeare on us after the initial “Aaaaww” reaction the big question comes right after in a nano-second. Questions such as, are you for real or is this just a put-up show to get in to my pants? We easily questioned the lack of sincerity when we see bold quixotic act from a man who is wooing us.

The words and teachings of William Shakespeare are now in the fairy tales section. It is romantic, profound and wonderful but unreal. Despite the fact that we live in a very conservative (see: hypocrite) country, the new breed of the dalagang Filipinas are mostly freaked out when their Romeo surprise visit them on a weekend with bouquet of Holland Tulips and heart-shaped Ferrero Rocher on hand. And it is definitely a shocker when we wake up in the morning and see our man cooking breakfast instead of snoring loudly besides us. Women like paying equally on dates, we don’t want our pink purse carried around by our man, we don’t want our guys doing errands for us and we most certainly don’t want our man buying stuffs that we can’t buy for ourselves because we are on shopping ban. It might be an act or done in good intention but how can we differentiate?

We are becoming romance intolerant day by day and it sucks that we can’t do anything about it. As much as we force ourselves to believe that Prince Charming will come and sweep our feet away or Romeo will drink poison for mere profession of love (which is bizarre and stupid BTW), we can’t. It’s not the way it used to be. Women have been fucked up by men for gazillion generations, from year one until today so men can’t really blame us for thinking this way. Just like allergies, it is acquired genetically passing from generation to the other. Having short tolerance in romance is like a disease that can pass on by one person to another. And just like what medical doctors can say towards the origins of allergies, love experts will just definitely advice you with… Sorry Bro! Maybe they are just born that way.

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus; Understanding the concepts of both worlds

Couples are goggling around the idea of how they will lessen the fight scene and focus on how to make their lives hassle-free. It downright to the issues that mostly blame by these lovebirds… well, that there’s an undefined gap between women’s mentality to men’s egos.

Now who’s to be blame?

I guess it’s easy to say than doing it but accept it or not… everything that happens in and out of your relationship will depends on how the couples deals with it.

Adjustments are crucial to both and it MUST be a part of your relationship. But these changes should be done by meeting halfway. Better select the option where you can revitalize your partner’s bad behavior but not totally spring out a new person from her. Let your partner be themselves and lighten down the things that you thought would make them a better person.

Communication is important than any solid items inside a shiny metallic gift wrappers. Girls would mostly appreciate a healthy and solemn conversation with their man on their anniversary than a diamond necklace. Well, of course I didn’t mean to shut all gift giving days and concentrate with saliva drying chit chat in Starbucks. Price is not a requirement, it’s just an additional points but try hitting on the sentimental part… that whacks off the whole thing.

Absence is one of the most unnoticed lapses on both parts. Making your partner knows that you think of him in the middle of a traffic jam in EDSA will flattened his stress lines in his forehead. It doesn’t really necessary that you have to go and visit her in the middle of the night, her parents might call security having you mistaken as a robber or dugu dugu gang. Just a simple text reminding her how much you miss her will do the trick.

Stress is the number one adversary of healthy relationship. Most women tends to be extra bitchy when they are in the middle of mountainous pile of paper works as well as men could be a total grumpy when they have three important deadlines all in the same day and same time. The trick: take an extra effort to separate work from your social life. Let your partner be your inspiration to your work. To hell with all those deadlines… I am SUPERMAN and Wonderwoman is my girlfriend’s nickname…*wink

Security… four words, SE-CU-RI-TY. Saying I love you three times a day is not enough to prove your man that you love him. Making him feel that you love him wherever you go, even if Brad Pitt is butt naked in front of you…

Broken promises… another number one No-No to relationship. A promise is a promise. Kill the guy who invented the saying, promises are made to be broken. If you can’t keep promises then better not do it at all.

Cheaters are the foulest creature ever existed in the planet HooLaHU… There’s nothing to explain about this one. Rule number one: Love is the most dangerous game to play. So do not pretend that you can crack of your partner’s nuts. You’ll definitely trick her ones but the Big Guy up there is looking right at ya'll… BEWARE of that Divine punishment. It sucks like a lot.

And finally… just make an effort to make the relationship work. Don’t let him do all the works and you’ll sit there having the best times of your lives. Make your relationship rocks by being positive. Don’t miss a day to tell your partner how much you love him or her… because you’ll never know how much time you’ve wasted before it’s too late…

Ondoy Nearly Kill Us All-- May God Help Us

Three days of non-stop tragedy, flash floods, landslides, people dying, mass starvation—the whole Philippines are grieving for their lost properties and loved ones. As much as I love my position right now, I can’t just bum around and watch my fellow Filipinos crying for help. I may not be the nicest person in the whole planet and those who knew me would probably agree that I am a bitch… but at times like this, when the whole country is in deep shit—I couldn’t help but to be nice.

Typhoon Ondoy really made a big impression when it entered the Philippine area of responsibility last Friday night forcing the President to declare 27 provinces in NCR including Metro Manila to be in the state of calamity. I was cool with it at first. My bed time was somehow comforting than before. I was up all night reading Dan Brown’s newest novel, The Symbol when I decided to checked what was going on outside. It was raining like hell.

I woke up the following day with half of the city swimming in filthy rain water. I had to cancel my badminton session with my friends since most of the areas were not passable to begin with. My thoughts weren’t that bad at that time. It was normal. Whole night of raining equals flooded area in Mega Manila. It was just a usual cycle that’s been going on for the past decades. But when news reports started to fill us with pictures and videos showing us that there were people dying and flood were rising all the way on top of a two story houses… I was frightened.

Everyone was affected. Rich, poor, average, celebrities, non-celebrities— all of them are equal prey in the eye of this monstrous typhoon. Three of my friends… closest friends including my best friend, my sister and the crimson abstract were greatly affected and ruined by Ondoy. My best friend was forced to spend the night over in my crib because she was forced to evacuate from her house. My sister and the crimson abstract were both living in the most affected area. Their housed were both eaten by the flash flood.

I can’t believe that happened and up to now I couldn’t grasp the gravity of the situation. I wanted to help… seriously. I wanted to go out and help in doing the volunteer works. I am just trying to find out on how to squeeze in my philanthropic self into my shit because the last time I checked, I have my own personal flood in my work schedule.

For now, I am monitoring the latest updates and checking up with my friends. So Philippines, let's hold our hands and stand up... We can do this. We are born survivors. We are brave. GOD SAVE US ALL!!!

CORPORATE CRISIS--- Not My Thing

I just had my first anniversary in this sweatshop last month—much waited day because I am sort of expecting something good will happen. Well, most of us share those same sentiments. But this week became a season of negative blast off for the entire TW. The richy client decided to break his “good” news in person. Yes, he flew right from across the globe just to tell us that we are not getting anything this year.

I was kind of hopeful that the client will be kind enough to shed a few bucks in exchange for

indefinite hard labor here. But everything was crashed the moment he opened his mouth and talked. After that very moment, I felt betrayed. I felt a sudden outburst of anger. My system automatically stopped from functioning. I stayed for a couple of hours more to digest everything and after a few hours of non-stop whining from everyone… I went home.

The following day was a complete struggle. As much as I wanted to use the remaining energy that I am storing for the longest time, it’s not enough to fathom the moment and make it worthwhile for me. I made it to the office after an hour of internal debate. But as soon as my feet stepped on the floor and my nose smelled the scent of the corporate environment, the “good news” from yesterday came flowing out from my throat like a vomit. That day—I went home earlier than the NORMAL usual.

Next day--- I can no longer pretend. I didn’t show up. Instead, I spend my remaining waking hour inside my room doing my extra labor so I could still sustain my daily expenses. I am belting three jobs right now. I have my day job which is of course the normal-office poop job. The second one is the SEO gig that was given to me by my former manager and the latest one is bio writing from my mentor. Seriously, I am killing myself slowly by working 20 hours a day. Of course, I have to rummage where to put in my leisure like my sport activities, bonding with friends and family time.

I am perpetually tired… literally. My back is aching constantly, my eyes are swollen and red and my eye bags are having eye bags of its own. I think my life right now is a perfect sample of what to do guide on how to commit suicide. Being a workaholic douche is not my thing, but earning a penny from your day job isn’t good at all. It’s not that I am asking for too much… All I need was a little reward or motivation from them. Isn’t that what really happens in the corporate world?]

It’s a good thing… I am off to Subic this weekend. I desperately need a vacation to unwind.

Burning Bridges

DISCLAIMER: This is a very disturbing entry. It’s full of anger and disappointment. So for those who are involved, I don’t ask for your sympathy… I NEED YOUR APOLOGY because I deserve one…

This marks the end of my noble and humbling service for my high school old buddies. I volunteered to organize a shitful reunion shindig for my co-alumni in Baste. I thought I was doing it all right and I have everyone supporting my back… turned out, it was just a big joke and everyone was laughing except me.

I knew it wasn’t that easy reuniting old peepz from different parts of the Philippines but I am kind of hopeful that we all share the same sentiments like missing the old things we used to do. I HAD IT ALL WRONG! The planning stage was undeniably sweet. It was really really fun and everyone was doing their own share of ideas and comments. But as we get closer to the date… each one of them were popping like bubbles and magically vanished in to thin air.

I got so pissed that pushed me to send away angry text messages to everyone stating that the event

[caption id="attachment_101" align="alignright" width="400" caption="thou shall not kill... but i have to!"][/caption]

was cancelled. I am tired of begging for their presence and planning this whole damn thing by myself. Nobody cares, so I should not care too… royt! It’s not as if they are paying me for doing this shiteous labor. And if ever they will, they can never afford it. I have tons of important things to do. They are all lining up in my bucket list and I should deal with these instead of this reunion-crap. I know I am sounding like a melodramatic bitch but all of you should at least have a single care because… for once we became part of each others life. At least, recognize the effort and try not to be as fucktard people as you all are now.

I know I am burning bridges just by typing away these words… and I am not referring to the entire U-PACS group. You know who you are and I say this clearly… YOU SHOULDN’T BACK AWAY WHEN YOU SAID THAT YOU ARE COMING because naturally we are counting on you. Cancelling at the last minute is so fuckin work of a retard.

And there’s another person involved in the planning who got his ass screwed because some of you decided not to cooperate. I felt sorry for this dude because he was forced to pay the resort’s reservation fee. I don’t know what happen next but I am sure he is effed up too. I am sorry Ed…

I probably had the worst reputation in our batch and I know everyone considered it as a fact. And now, I am embracing that image whole heartedly without thinking twice. You may dislike me and I don’t give an effin fuck to care. Pero kayo ang nang-iiwan sa ere, so you are no better than I am. I organized this thing to help rejuvenate our friendship because I thought we share the same feelings. But now, I think there’s really no friendship to revive at all.

But anyway, there are few people… the old people I always count on to. My BBRC group who never let me down decided to refurnished the old plan and decided to washed away all of the negatives vibes by traveling up north.

So as my stat message says, PAGUDPUD HERE WE COME!!!

Slumdog Millionaire; Two Thumbs Up!

I had a 2 day stressed and schedule free weekend that is why I had the time to accomplish every thing that was written in my schedule plan, most specially, watching the movie Slumdog Millionaire. I heard this movie from Mo Twister, a radio DJ from a morning show in Magic 89.9 fm and was intrigued by the way he adored it.

The movie was an Indian independent movie and was depicted from the daily lives in the slum area. The story revolves around a male protagonist from the squatter’s area who manages to win the jackpot prize in a game show entitled Who Wants to be a Millionaire. Since he is just an orphan and he lacks education, his victory created a big question whether he cheated or not to win the prize. In the end, they all found out that he just got lucky and that every answer to the question thrown to him had a very significant moment in his life.

Slumdog Millionaire is a love story with lots of twist and exciting plot. Most of us can relate to this film because even if it was based in Mumbai the whole picture is similar to the common Philippine slum setting. It wasn’t boring or uber melodramatic. It’s not even shallow or too deep. I had fun watching the movie and I guess the whole world and the critics felt the same way too.

Slumdog Millionaire sweeps almost all of the major categories in the recent Academy Awards including best picture, best director best original score, best original song, best original song, best film editing, best cinematography, best sound mixing and best adapted screenplay. It’s a tight fight between Milk and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. But all in all… Slumdog peeps surely owned the night.

I are not a SLAVE

I promise myself not to blog about anything that will surely create a huge fuss or will make my site as controversial as the one I had before but fuck the nuts out… I can’t bear it any longer.

Some months ago, when I was still struggling to bag this job… the human resources department already gave me a heads up that there are some days that I need to work over time… I thought it was just few extra hours, they didn’t tell me that I am supposed to change my address and use the company’s address for I’ll be spending eternity here.

The work started from shit to even worst than anyone could ever imagine. The difference is I don’t care… I really don’t effin care. I don’t a give a shit whether the team is fanning a huge fire between us and the clients. I don’t give a damn even if they consider us the worst kind of individuals… because it’s not our fault why we got into this mess anyway.

But just as I thought that I do have a black wicked heart, seriously I realized that I am not that bad after all. You see, the manager and I became the best of friend waaaaaaayyyy before this shit time. He was my mentor in every aspect of life and a big ear that I only have that continuously listening to my shitty whining and ranting. And now, he was stuck between the seemingly endless piles of shit loads and crappy management. And moi, having this I don’t care attitude digs an even deeper pit for his grave. Even though I am so trying hard to make his life a bit easier to deal with most especially after reading another mail from the clients… I felt that the joke that he used to laugh about becomes shittier and shittier everyday.

I pulled exxtraa effort within the last few weeks so I could at least contribute a lot from minimizing his burden but my effort was not enough. Well of course, I can’t give my 200% energy because I still have tons of work waiting for me at home. And just as I thought will happen next. My physical body gave up on me.

It wasn’t the right time for me to be sick but hell must have ganged up on me that left me with no choice… I need rest. But the days that I spent inside my room weren’t a very gladdening moment. My room magically became a conscience chamber equipped with a digital sound system that kept on playing the same music (about how I left my team in hell and I am spending my time in nirvana) on and on.

But obviously, something is fucked up and someone must unfuck it, but that someone is not me either my team mates.

So if I can actually talk to the Big Boss… here’s what I am gonna say:

1. if you want us to die… just say so… we don’t need a guessing game


2. I am sure you understand the word IMPOSSIBLE so let’s not make it possible


3. just in case you forgot… you don’t hire magicians and we are not GOD


4. if you want us to finish this all up… stop the time


5. stop making us believe that we can do it… REALITY BITES! WE CAN’T… if you want us to believe on that rubbish, do it first, we’ll back you off!


6. WE NEED MANPOWER!!! LOTS OF MANPOWER!!! If you don’t know how to count… I’LL HELP YOU!!!


7. WE NEED COMPUTERS!!! GOOD WORKING COMPUTERS WITH FAST CONNECTIONS


8. and lastly… please tell your other minions (the guys based abroad) that we are not the one in charge of cleaning up their mess… it takes a lot of time and we are the one suffering

So that’s it… You see, I am trying to love my job, I think I need help.