Career Talk

Since it is the month of commencement for most students, I’ll share something relevant for our new graduates before they face the REAL WORLD!

I started out as a porn writer after I graduated in College three years ago. It wasn’t my intentions but I guess due to lack of experience and being a Journalism graduate from an unknown school, I had to accept the job. I was so aggressive to earn money and it was the only thing available for grabs, so I took it. Not that I am trying to clean my name but I am really not that familiar with any topics about sex or anything hardcore than what I can watch on TV (which is of course being censored by MTRCB). Prior to my adult writing stint, I have seen three porn flicks during the entire duration of my growing up years and two of these were by accident. I never visited any adult sites when I was still studying neither considering watching porn as a regular couch potato movie. My tolerance in watching erotic films wasn’t that strong enough to handle an hour length of foreplay, intercourse and cumshot. And writing about sex is definitely the biggest slip-up of my life because I am not proficient with the activity itself. But when a guy pays me to watch and write about it—hell bent fuckers, I will do anything to keep my funds rising.

Now I am thinking again, is being good at something automatically becomes your career in the future or it will all depends on how you play the games of life?

After accepting the fact that pornography wasn’t my calling, I gave my resignation letter to my bosses and paved my way to the opposite direction. I accepted a serious, technical and geeky job in exchange to my dirty little porn writing gig. But the chain of stories and tales about my previous job was intolerable. It gets me to the point that when I woke up one day everyone in my office knew me as the girl-who-used-to-write porn. I became the main attraction, the sex guru, the coolest person alive and things that people thought to be me. Everyone asked me for passwords, where do I get inspiration, am I wilder than my characters, do I practice the things that I am writing and to my horror- they were even asking me for sex advice. No matter how I tried explaining that I am not the coolest sexually liberated as what they think I am; my words weren’t believable enough. They stuck in their belief that when it comes to sex, I know better than anyone else.

At some point, there are few advantages that I obtained from learning how to write porn. I have learned a lot. And things like these weren’t thought in school and probably very awkward if thought by our parents. Its fun, yes it is for a certain period of time- not in a pleasurable way but fun in a sense that I never imagine how these damn things could be categorized to different aspects, types and categories. Thus, I must admit that after a year of working with these adult sites, I’ve come acquainted with vast array of knowledge about sex topics that anyone can’t learn from Sex Education thought in school alone. I might have used it for personal reasons or in my relationship but the point is that particular time of my career wasn’t the thing I am good at but it made me become the one I am now.

After receiving my diplomat, I began to dream and become one of the best creative writers that will keep the world from breathing. I don’t exactly know how to insert porn writing as my foundation. But it certainly proves that you don’t have to be good at something to make a career out of it because you can always learn. Determination and will power is the key to everything, ladies and gentlemen. All we can do is to dream big, aim high and work hard, it’s not rocket science.

I used to think that I don’t have a good future ahead of me, since the one thing I really love is to act on stage. Theater is my life, my air and my love. But when I wasn’t given the chance to get in to the best university when I was in college, I was doomed. I am not good at anything else except that one particular thing. So I settle for my second best. That’s why I took Journalism. I was ok with it, not that I totally despised my course. But thinking I have nowhere else to go made me strive harder. I am not good at it. Seriously, up until now (three years of brain masturbation to come up with decent articles) I still don’t consider myself as a writer. Because this is something I am not good at. However, I forced myself to continue learning and widen my knowledge. In this world the battle is not about where you are good at but where the money and the demands are. The rules of the game are not in your hands but in the palms of someone who can finance the world with his bank account.

Bottom line is people are like computers. We all need to have back-ups, so if our hard drive crashes we still have something left to start with. Whether you are good or bad at something, do not limit yourself with that. Learn everything you can learn because when your plan A fails, you could still live.

Am I making sense her?!? I think I am. HOLY SHIT! I need to see a doctor, I am becoming normal.

To Sleep or Not To Sleep... That's The Question.

I’ve been trying to formally own the zombie-look as my signature style by maintaining it every single morning. I’ve been hiding my face all throughout the early part of the day with my bumble bee shades to veil my horrendous eye bags and ghostly skin tone. When the Abu Sayyaf scarf was the “in thing”, I grabbed that opportunity to excuse myself to the whole world by covering my entire face. I may not have a milky white colored skin but I do look like Casper without any make-up on. A friend once told me that he admires me for being functional even if I had almost 2 fucking minutes of napping time. I guess juggling personal, financial and corporate schiz became my daily routine and that is why sleeping had just become leisure for me. Is it by choice or not? I don’t think so.

Now I am thinking, can we really maintain an 8-hour sleep everyday without sacrificing any must-do chores that normal people do?

I’ve been working for almost three years and within those span of time, I never had a good amount of sleep in a straight full week. Not a chance that I could complete an 8-hour of dozing time without sacrificing my job, my extra-curricular activities and some natural shits. Nowadays, I always found myself sleeping on the bus, on my desk, inside the girl’s lavatory and even while walking. I fucked you not! I almost got hit by a bus while crossing Ayala Ave. because I was half asleep while walking.

Is it just me or everyone in this world who wants to live their lives according to their own preferred social status should at least be awake for at least 20 hours a day?

As time passed by, I can see the whole world is changing. When I was a little kid, I am used to my dad telling me stories about how was life when they were young. Everyone has to be on bed at around 5 in the afternoon because the whole city was already dark, gloomy and somewhat dangerous. There were no bystanders at night; only the balut vendors alluring the sleeping town into tasting his freshly premature duck eggs. There were no night clubs, no night shift jobs—meaning there was no life after dark so better dozed off than stare at the night sky and wait for shooting stars.

But that was decades ago. Now, the city never sleeps, not only the citizens living in it but the whole wide universe is getting their eye bags loaded. No wonder coffee shops are a big hit whether cheap or not because all of us are sabotaging our system by inducing too much caffeine to sustain the kind of life that we had to live. But we can’t blame ourselves, well at least from my perspective. There are so many establishments that are only open at night. And dare not to agree with me if I say that FUN starts when the sun sets and the strobe lights are out, or in some case, when everything is dark. * wink wink

Before, the kinds of career you can do during the night are those you do not want yourself to be involved with. Hookers, prostitutes, human flesh seller, drug seller—those are the only jobs that you can apply for at night. Or you could sell balut and chicharon (like the one I stated above). But today, we have 24-hour delivery service from your choice of fast food chains, call center jobs and any other works that involves off shoring labor from different parts of the world.

I don’t know what else to point out anyway… so I’ll just rest my case. Goddamnit! Irony much?! I am ranting about how I can’t find enough time to rest and sleep but I ended my blog with I’ll rest my case statement…

Is respect should be earned or imposed?

For the past 24 years of my life, owning my surname has always been a matter of bliss for anyone who doesn’t know the truth about me. And to those who has shallow perception of authority or having power above anyone else. I am not one of them. I am a hypocrite if I tell you that I haven’t use my surname as an escape goat for something I did, but that just one tiny little trick I did and just once. Maybe at that moment, I thought that I could gain respect to other people just because I am part of a family who has power to dominate the people because of his political achievements. That is the shallow side of me talking and making the decision. Because I believe that no matter how high your position is, or how tough you are in the world, you have to prove yourself first before you gain this so-called respect you’ve been dying for.

But then again, am I right? Is respect should be earned or imposed?

We live in a very conservative and traditional country in which I honestly believe as a complete mockery of idealism. We were thought by our ancestors to respect your parents, your bosses, your political leaders, your teachers, etc. because they said they are above us. And no matter what happened, whether the situation is right or wrong or that person’s character is reputable enough or not, if you extend your thoughts and nagged their feelings… you’re screwed. Everyone will see you as the person-who-effed-the-authority-and-now-he-or-she-is-all-fucked-up.

I’ve been put to this kind of situation once in awhile, and as much as appalling it sounds, I literally wrack everyone’s nerves. One little incident I had was when I walked out on a project manager in my so-so previous job because he terminated me because of insubordination. I was pissed, not only because it was almost my last day of resignation (meaning I am already a resigned employee) but also because the issue was just a matter of touching his man-ego (which he actually admitted after I stormed out of the office at 3 o’clock in the morning). It was a long story and I already blogged about that months ago so if you want to know the whole details… kalkalin nyo na lang kung saan mang blog site ko nailagay un.

Life is all about being part of a certain group. A person can’t be just an individual and live with just him or herself. Whether big or small, it’s always been the case. And within a group, there’s always the leader and the member. There’s the hierarchy of power and authority that can’t be ignored. Thus, respect in this case should be imposed. No matter how wrong and unethical, when someone from the higher position ordered you to do something, no questions asked—it has to be done. You can suggest or give your insights but that depends on the kind of leader you have. If he or she is fond of dictatorship then you might as well shut your mouth and bury your ideas 6 feet under. But that kind of respect ends there. If respect became just a matter of obligation, well there’s an off beam attitude in that person’s style of management. Either you let yourself be handled by his or her crappy management system or you could just quit. That is how the cookie crumbles… darling!

When a person earned someone else’s respect, whatever reasons it may be—give that person a round of applause. Gaining respect from others by not involving any form of official obligation is something so hard to earn. However, there’s this saying that with great power comes great responsibilities. That person who ever he or she may be, must not abuse the kind of treatment being given to him or her. That person should at least be grateful and continue the wonders he or she have been contributing to the world.

Another thing that comes with this issue is the separation of official and unofficial relationship for both participants. It is very rare that you can combine your personal emotions with your business. There will always be a glitch and you can’t just deal with it. Point is you can’t combine friendship and business. Just like oil and water, scissors and paper, moon and sun. BUT, if both participants can draw the line between their personal emotions and business; no ifs and buts, we can just leave whatever crap I said above. But like what I’ve stated, this is very rare!

As for me, there are only few people in this world that I can firmly say that I give respect because they earned it. But there are lots of people that I respect because I just have to. I am the kind of person who you can never impress with charms, social standing, family background, money or any shallow reasons that shallow people use to gain respect from others. You can be the dumbest person on Earth but if you prove to me that you are worthy of my respect, I can bow my head down and kiss your feet with my Dior glossed lips. Nevertheless, you can be fuckin president of a country, but if you act and talk like a shit then our relationship can be purely for business purposes only.

But then again, Michael Jackson can’t heal the world with his song how much more my blog? So cut the crap and move on.