Sometimes when you are struggling to find your happiness that is where shit happens. Everything will come stumbling down in front of your sorry ass and the only thing left to you is a broken heart and a broken dreams. After investing into something you thought deeper you’ll soon realize that there are more to learn and more to accept. It’s a never ending process that you’ll need to tolerate to make things last.
I am being profound because I don’t know… maybe I am thinking straight and I need to fuck this thing out of my system.
This week wasn’t usual. It wasn’t even fun or exciting. It’s a time of grief, broken pieces and shredded heart. It marked the end of a dreary past and a start of a new life. New look, new haircut and more positive outlook in life, more beers, less sleep and tons of trips, my own personal ingredient to cure my broken heart.
Old company, old people but new friends.
It’s not too late to show them that I am a jolly person and not the retard slut in the corner. I can crack jokes, quench beers and smoke. I can be a friend and not just a co-worker. I can be a normal human being… the way I used to be.
I learned a lot of things in the past; from there I will start this new phase in life with much courage and strength to face the real world. I MIGHT fall for another trap or do something STUPID in the future but I know that it will end soon because in this world, even good things never last.
Lesson learned…
Life time commitment isn’t my thing. (EMO ALERT!!!) No matter how perfect it may be, I can always find a tiny hole to screw it off. It’s not that I can not give love; I don’t deserve to be loved by anyone. (slitting my wrist while typing this line)
Sometimes, investing your feelings to another human being comes in a much disoriented way. Because no matter how you tried making it work… one day you’ll wake up the love you have is already gone.
So cheers to the new life ahead of me…
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