Why are you bad Philippines???

Have you ever been in a situation that you felt you just needed to shut up and ignore your
BAD!"][/caption]

feelings just to avoid another fight? Have you ever felt that you are in a middle of something important but the other person seems not to care at all? Well, this is just some crazy shit in my nuts right now and I am writing it down just to ease the constant desolation of my present situation.

I know this is just another lame entry for the untold saga of love, issues and reality. I could write a series of self help book about what to do or what not to do to make your love life easy but the things I know seems not working for me. I don’t exactly know how to explain things without actually spilling the whole jar of beans because I am too lazy to narrate the whole story.

A part of my brains is actually not doing well right now. That part of me actually wanted to do something bad to another human being. It could be physical harm or anything that will surely annihilate a person’s existence (that’s harsh). But the other part of me says, I just need to calm myself and just shut up.

I am beating myself up just to come up with something to solve this issue. I just don’t know how to say my thoughts without sounding like a manipulative bitch trying to ruin a potentially developing friendship. But if the persons inside that friendship were creating a huge gap between you and the one you love… then someone has to stop it. Someone has to do something.

Sweet Jesus! The whole idea of me transforming into a nice girl is really tough. Just as I thought, being nice is a big effort. Why are you bad Philippines???

I take it back… I am not dying!

I need to un-blog my last entry. I am not dying, at least not yet for now. I still have to undergo on a 6 months observation for this thingy. If it gets worst, then probably, that’s the time that I should start worrying.

That’s it… so, THANK YOU LORD! I am not yet hitting nirvana anytime soon.

Weekends...

The most awaited team building is officially over. We had fun and definitely we developed the kind of bonding that the said event was aiming for. Though the ending wasn’t that right for me… since I had to go home unexpectedly since the tiring events weren’t tolerable enough, the whole 24 hours of non-stop adventures mixed with unexpected drama were totally great.

***

I’ve been through so many battles in my life. As a child, I couldn’t imagine that I have encountered so many things and what made it special was… I am still here standing and still fighting. There was a time that I stopped from making things all right because I am tired… But He showed me that I still have hope and so I must go on. That’s what I did…

But life seems to be ungrateful for me. It’s as if I have to fight for everything before I could totally have it. I have to fight for my family name, I have to fight for my relationship just to keep it right and now… I still have to fight for my life.

I didn’t see this coming but yes… for the past four weeks; I’ve been so worried and scared. But the worst news had just reached me. Positive! My left breast has a cystic nodule at the 10 o’clock position, measuring 0.94 x 0.29 cm. In short, I have a cyst and I need to undergo serious medication. I don’t know how bad it will be… all I know is that I am so effin scared.

So what can I wish for??? But may God bless me…