Zsa Zsa Zaturnnah Ze Muzikal; A Valentine Excerpt

Everyone on my friend’s list knew that I am in love with theater arts from the moment I spoke my first word. Silly! It’s just an exaggeration. I’ve been a very active participant in the world of performing arts when I was still studying. I have won different awards from various competitions. I even had the chance to become one of the selected students that was given a role into one of PETA’s theatrical performance. But the dream to become the famous theater actress was crashed when I did not manage to pass UP’s qualification to study BA Theater Arts because of a lousy sour graping mother F’n teacher in high school (that I swear will incriminate her soul in a dark and stinky poop hole not even Satan can accept her in hell) .

So just like any losers will do… I packed my dreams inside a box and buried it under till it fades in my memory. I began moving on and embarking a new dream which I am practically doing right now. But the undefined calling of the spotlight and the stage is still unending echoes in my ears. I can’t stop from going back and digging the memories because I know deep inside my heart that there’s a special spot for this dream.

So by watching various stage plays I can channel my screaming urge to be one of them. Last February 14, the boyfriend decided to buy me a ticket for the theater adaptation of Carlo Vergara’s famous comic book, Zsa Zsa Zaturnnah.

The stage play is the crowning glory of the author… since for me, the movie was crap and the comic book was lame. Zsa Zsa Zaturnnah was recommended by my college professor in Art Appreciation. He is an art enthusiast and not to mention, a columnist from one of the nationwide broadsheet here in the Philippines, that is why I trusted his judgment. I purchased the book and was unsatisfied by it.

The story is about a gay beautician who lives a boring life in a barrio. His life change when a magical pink rock falls down from heaven and hit him while he was taking a bath. Together with his sidekick Didi, also a homo, they discovered the hidden power of the magical pink rock and they fight the forces of evil. To make this synopsis short… this whole superhero thing is just a gay version of Darna.

The role of Ada, the gay protagonist of the story, was played by Vincent A. De Jesus, a multi-

awarded lyricist, composer and musical director. He’s from PETA and a very promising comedian. Vincent is also a Palanca Awardee and if I don’t stop writing his achievements, I’ll be spending another 400 words just to enumerate everything… so moving on… Eula Valdez played the role of Zsa Zsa Zaturnnah, the hero of the story. Ada becomes Zaturnnah every time he swallows the magical pink rock. Eula is a widely known actress in the big screen and Philippine TV. After being marked as the powerful Amor Powers in one of ABS-CBN telenovela starred by Jericho Rosales and Kristine Hermosa, she was indeed awarded as a very promising serious actress in her generation. But surprisingly, she portrayed the role of Zaturnnah perfectly. Didi was played by Nar Cabico which I wanted to commend for being the life of the whole play. His acting was brilliant and exemplary. He mostly gave punch lines that made the whole thing very entertaining.

I know I sucked at writing reviews but I know that you get the picture. The play is damn good and it really deserved the standing ovation and nonstop clamor inside CCP theater hall. I hope they will extend their dates of performance because as far as I know the last show was last Sunday, the day after Valentines. So for those who haven’t watched it yet, just try convincing the sponsors to have another one.

That’s it… BELATED HAPPY HEART’S DAY!

He’s Just Not That into You

A year ago, a friend of mine lend me a book and tried selling out to me by saying that, “you should read that… that might answer everything you need to know…” I don’t exactly remember that I have read this book not until I saw it again in a bookstore with a different cover and additional chapters.

I have a penchant for reading books over and over just like watching movies so I bought the book trying to remember why I forgotten this thing anyway. And also I am kinda delighted to have this book because of the caption written at the bottom center of the book… it says, Now A Major Motion Picture.

He’s Just Not That Into You is a collection of stories of different girls dealing common problem—relationships. This book became crazy ass hit when two writers of the popular Sex and the City series had actually transformed into a relationship gurus and firing away love advices that became super helpful for those who are seeking for it.

Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo conceptualized the whole context of this widely known self help book to proliferate the untold story of the male species’ thinking. It’s a collection of stories of various women narrating their struggles in dating, sex, marriage and hooking up. Greg and Liz analyze their situation then in the latter part of the book they will explain their POV’s of how they are in a pathetic condition… ending each advice with he’s just not that into you because if he is… he will do this and do that and blah blah blah.

The thing is… I don’t generally agree with them. That’s how I remember now why I completely forgotten that I have read this book. Because, I don’t give my fondness and I considered this book as a humungous pile of bull shit. I am not Dr. Phil or Joe D’ Mango or Dra. Margie Homes. But I am sure that every guy or person has different personalities, characteristics or attitudes and that explain why they have different behaviors and responses in a certain situation. It doesn’t imply that every human being will commonly react in a situation because they are of the same gender.

Sometimes (I am trying not to sound cheesy and melodramatic) the feelings that we called LOVE rules the entire situation. No matter how clear and vulgar the rejection message is, the person who is deeply in love automatically shuts down all of his or her normal senses and hold on to the tiny hope that there will be a good future on it. And as I always remind myself everyday, it’s better to regret something you did than regretting something you don’t. *rolling eyes and drooling….*

Why are you bad Philippines???

Have you ever been in a situation that you felt you just needed to shut up and ignore your
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feelings just to avoid another fight? Have you ever felt that you are in a middle of something important but the other person seems not to care at all? Well, this is just some crazy shit in my nuts right now and I am writing it down just to ease the constant desolation of my present situation.

I know this is just another lame entry for the untold saga of love, issues and reality. I could write a series of self help book about what to do or what not to do to make your love life easy but the things I know seems not working for me. I don’t exactly know how to explain things without actually spilling the whole jar of beans because I am too lazy to narrate the whole story.

A part of my brains is actually not doing well right now. That part of me actually wanted to do something bad to another human being. It could be physical harm or anything that will surely annihilate a person’s existence (that’s harsh). But the other part of me says, I just need to calm myself and just shut up.

I am beating myself up just to come up with something to solve this issue. I just don’t know how to say my thoughts without sounding like a manipulative bitch trying to ruin a potentially developing friendship. But if the persons inside that friendship were creating a huge gap between you and the one you love… then someone has to stop it. Someone has to do something.

Sweet Jesus! The whole idea of me transforming into a nice girl is really tough. Just as I thought, being nice is a big effort. Why are you bad Philippines???