Blame It On the Money...

It’s been a great week… at least not for me. This whole week marks the end of another futile friendship that I nurtured for more than five years. Yes, the friendship is pointless and it was rather shocking on my part considering that I’ve tried exerting effort on it. (That I don’t usually do…) But it got fucked up and now… we’re done.

What makes it really really shameful is the reason behind the “big fight”. That person ruptured one rule of friendship…. MONEY! I know it sucks. So the following morning I packed my office things and moved out from the cubicleville where that person resides in too. It was a drastic move and I knew that from the moment I started packing my things… all eyes and ears are on me. Now, they are making fun of the situation and that person became the new office big joke. I felt bad for that person but everything is just so effin wrong. I tried rationalizing the issue so I could revive the friendship back. But how can you forgive someone who‘s not even asking for forgiveness? You can’t see any trace of remorse on that person’s face. And with some occasional angry glance and raising eyebrows (and yes this is a little exaggeration), I just decided that from this on and forward… I wouldn’t even give a damn care. It’s not the end of the world. It’s just another petal that fell down from my garden of friends. (ehehehe…)

Come next Friday… there will be a grand poker night. It will be a night of booze, foods and party people. Everyone will enjoy the night… except me. I know it would be fun but it wouldn’t be that amusing if you knew that after that night… things will be A WHOLE NEW WORLD FOR ME. However, I know things are meant to happen and I am hoping that it would be the best for everyone.

Pero bwisit ka pa rin… Pero goodluck!

Puge Memoirs

Pictures posted on my wall

Splendid times and happy days

Never fading bull shits and craps

Joke times and fun

Hell yes! I miss you guys...

Our beer days and ice cream time

We start our day at night

Till sunrise shines at us

It never fails to make me laugh

When Egwin starts to whine at us

It makes my heart twirl in joy

When Rikki and Toby crack their joke

Jay's occasional tantrums make our day

Pepe's Lucena-accent charms our night

And try not to find where Athley is…

He’s probably asleep somewhere here

And when the animator king joins our team

Make way cause Rod is here…

And there it goes the royal jugglers

Chase chase before Jose and Ferdz drinks their shot

Misch will curse the envious

While NAVCC’s came flying away from Anjsh

Now the end is near…

Shut your ears… coz Gerard will sing…

Now we are apart and distance might ruin us

Keep in mind the bond we had

Note this line coz I might not recur

Uwi na kayo… kailangan namin kayo dito sila hindi…

Internal Renovation

Para akong kumakausap sa pader kapag sinasabihan kita… Makinig ka naman. Hindi ka kasi marunong makinig eh… -the crimson_abstract

The very same friend who taught me that the trick is to not care had just loosen up his nuts and pour out all of his emotion (which I thought he wasn’t designed to have one) most of it was anger last week. It’s been five days of never ending talk about how I continue to dismantle the whole idea of morality and adultery in my life. It was a whole week of brutal conversation of how I continue to disrespect my values and myself. No holds barred. All cards out. No hard feelings. In the end, I accepted…. I was wrong.

“I always forget how to become a rational human being whenever I am with him… I can’t help it! He brings out the devil in me….”

Like any other normal conversation we had for the past three years of friendship. That particular conversation became bizarre however it was expected nevertheless it wasn’t worthless. The issue wasn’t new at all. It was the very same dilemma that I ran away from two years ago. Now, my worst fear had just immersed from reality. And to make it worst, I dug it too deep that is why my nose is in shit now.

But this time… I was forced to listen because I demand for changes and serenity. Yes! I myself wanted to refurnished my shiteous condition and ask for my friend’s opinion on how to start anew. Now the letting go and moving on period is slowly taking in place. The re-installment of values insinuated to me will come next. The renovation of my shattered self will follow. I bet to myself… in six months, I will reborn as a new person, physically, emotionally and mentally.

This is not a matter of choice. I let my heart lead the way but I got lost. Now my brain has to take over to take me back to the right path. It’s now… or never.