I Am Now One of Them

I’ve been with Azkaban for quite sometimes and I can say that I worked very hard just to get to where I am. The work hours are sickening, the pay is frustrating but at the end of the day I am happy.  “Lahat ng trabaho may problema” , that is what I can always say to my friends each time they tried to convince me that I am supposed to be earning more than what I am making right now. With the amount of work and the skills I have, I know I deserved better. But money is not the issue. As I said, I love my job and I am happy with what’s going on with my life right now- not until that day.

...We act with integrity.
 

I may be over-reacting but there’s a principle involved. I take my job seriously and the ethics that comes along with it. I don’t break the law simply because it will only come back to bite me in the ass one day. And the words like “Hindi naman nila malalaman” is simply BULL SHIT. The fact that I got involved into falsifying records no matter how small that is, can be a start of something big.

I now realized, I cannot work for these people anymore. I am not the overly achiever when I was in school. I am not the brightest among my bunch but what makes me stand out is the fact that I do my job with utmost integrity, loyalty and accuracy. I don’t take short cuts. I always choose to take the high roads no matter how hard, no matter how uncomfortable because that is the only way I know I can win in life.

 But today, I broke my rule. I was defeated by my fear. My credibility was shattered. With just one flick of falsified records happened under my nose, my whole career became a horrible travesty. I can’t be trusted anymore. This is not who I am. I became the horror I said I will never be… I am now one of them.

… and I am scared.