The Ugly Truth

I had a glimpse of my future last week and it ain’t gonna be soooo good. I knew I said this a lot of times to random people and I totally meant it but that was before this shit happened to me. So this is tze story--I’ve been forcing myself lately into doing all the things all at the same time. I had to. I am required to. I can’t blame my company for making their money worth because after all they are paying me enough to be their bitch… OH! WAIT! NO THEY ‘RE NOT! Anyway that is not the issue. The issue was because of that endless amount of work and stress, my health suffered a lot. Last week was the full manifestation of my health failure.

Here’s what happened; the day started not so good. I just came from a weekend bout of fever and flu when I decided not to nurse it because my work was piling up. I showed up at work, feeling weak and looking weak.  I was in the middle of doing my work chore when that sudden sting of pain fucked my head. It was excruciatingly painful that I can no longer see things. I am shaking and my feet were wobbly. I summoned all my remaining strength and led myself to the office clinic. The nurse said I need rest since it was a serious case of over fatigue. I was asked to go home early. I called my mom, she wasn’t home. I can’t call my dad because of the PRO thing. I can’t call the Bestie since he wasn’t near my area…  Then it hit me – I have no one.

I felt so helpless. It was tediously painful but I have to go home and brave the wilderness of the streets, alone. With my impaired vision and throbbing head, I need to this… alone. Thank God, I was so lucky to end with an honest cab driver that did not take advantage of my weakness. I got home safely. I went straight to my room and dozed off.

When I woke up, my mom was there. No words. I was so thirsty but my head was still throbbing in pain. I gathered my strength to stand up and pour myself a tall glass of water. As I quenched the remaining drops of water in my glass, I realized the scary truth – this is gonna be your future, alone. Miserable. Helpless. Weak.

Learn it. Live it. Want it.