Second Tattoo...

and hopefully... my last!

The New Look

I had lots of bad things going on lately... so I decided to revamp my "slutty" hair color to avoid troubles.

So here's the Now and Then pix...



I am so busy messing up my life right now... So I rarely have time to update this blog. Anyhoo, wish me luck!

WALA

Marami akong gustong ikwento pero hindi ko alam kung paano sisimulan. Andaming nangyayari sa araw araw so hindi ko alam kung paano isusulat:

Naknamputa!

tignan nyo na lang itong first tattoo ko:

ANJO

It was bright and sunny afternoon. The canteen was crowded and noisy. I was walking like a Chinese princess with metal clamps covering my feet. I can hardly breathe amidst the huge havoc inside the small cafeteria. The whole place was crowded and the students were all walking in back to back, chest-to-chest and almost face-to-face position. I am covering my boobs because it might catch a hand accidentally or worst… intentionally.

Then someone passed me and said, “Ang arte mo naman!” I was completely stunned and I couldn’t react. I was hoping that I could come up with something to defend my embarrassment and let the bitch side of me emerged from within. But it didn’t happen. I was just standing, frozen with a dropped jaw and felt annihilated at that instant.

That was nine years ago. It all started there…

I wasn’t still over the fact that some guy from the hetero class (lower section) had just degraded me in public and in front of the whole H.S. Sebastinians. I was insulted and humiliated and at that very moment I knew I wanted revenge. I was a bitch back then. Everyone knew me as the girl who loves troubles and bossing people around. I was “the mean girl” back in the days. (Notice the operative words are back in the days… lolz).

Ten days after that shocking moment… I was expecting a visitor. We have a scheduled study group session for our finals. When I heard knocks on my front door, I was so sure that it was him. However, he got me surprised when I saw a typical familiar face hiding behind him. It was him, the guy who offended me in public. It was weird and really awkward. Silence enveloped our place for awhile, and then someone said, “Hannah, this is Jan Paul… Jan Paul this is Hannah”…

I didn’t know what happen next but the next thing I knew, we were laughing and telling jokes. He was so gentleman, easy to be with and funny. From that moment, the anger had just vanished into thin air.

I didn’t know how it started… I just woke up one day we were exchanging promises, dreams and plans. I care for him and he cares for me too. I am his shadow, his light and his guide while he is my hero, my protector and my savior. He let me walk in inside his life while I let him unnerve mine.

We spent zillion of times together, we count sleepless nights on the phone and we gave each other importance more than anybody else in this world. We’ve been through a lot of trials and tests. Miraculously, we managed to surpass them all. I never mentioned how much I owe him my life. I was self-centered, arrogant and a bitch. But despite of that, he accepts me for who I am. He never asks me to change. He simply loves me the way I am. When I am down, he makes me feel special. He never ask for more than I can give and he was never afraid to let the whole world knows how he cares for me.

I remember back then, I made you walked from Luneta Grandstand up to San Sebastian in Recto. I knew you were mad and I can feel your temper rising because I was acting like a grumpy kid. I was stomping my feet, yelling curses and humiliating you in public for shallow reasons I’d rather not talk about. But you didn’t leave. You were right behind me while I was nursing my shit. You were just there, watching me making a fool of myself, assuring that I will reach home safely.

But, there were times that you hurt me too. Not intentionally but because I know you were fed up with me. One day, you called at my house and told me that you were giving up. You can no longer hold my shits and tolerate my tantrums. I was stunned… I can’t speak; everything became hazy and everything stumbled down on me. I was shattered into million pieces. I cried that night… the whole night. We didn’t hang out or talked for the whole month. I missed you so much. I tried to find someone else… someone better than you. But I can’t.

I prayed hard. It was harder than I usually do. Suddenly, you called me and patched things up. Whatever your reason, I didn’t think twice, I just can’t let you go just like that. We’ve been through almost all the shittiest thing in life… and our friendship couldn’t end just like that.

It has been nine years since the day we’ve met. Nine years of ups and downs in our friendship. I understand that you can’t be visible at all times yet you make it assured that you can be reach each time I needed a shoulder to cry on. Nine years of fun and I just want to let you know that I can’t live my life the way I am living now without you filling the part. I want you to know that at times I tend to forget your birthday, or I often forget to inform you that I already change my number but always remember you are always in my heart. And no matter how far the distance between us, our friendship will always be unbreakable and irrevocable. I can’t imagine myself without you. THANKS for being such an amazing friend.

THIS IS EFFIN' NINE YEARS BEZ! Isang taon na lang... isang Dekada na. Walang susuko ha!

From An Epic Week to a Bitter Farewell

Last week went by from ultimate fun and ended up with something offensively sad. As everyone knew, I took a week of vacation from my work or quoting the Sunriseshotgun’s term “The Evil Empire” because I had to entertain my relatives (my favorite Japanese cousin) because this might be her last vacation as a single girl. Despite of the language barrier and the distance, Shuri (the Japanese cousin) and I shared wonderful moments together. So when she told me that she will take her last vacation as a single girl here in the Philippines, I immediately file my leave of absence WITHOUT PAY! I know I am broke and I have tons of debts, but she is the only family I have… Do I need to think twice?

The VAKAZYON GRANDE

We savor every minutes of their vacation. We stretch every strength and power we have till we all drop. We ate a LOT, went out and meet other people, I found my first stalking experience and it is sorta freaky (story will come later) and by quoting a cliché, WE PAINTED THE TOWN RED!

On their last day, about 20 hours before their departure, all of our energy was used up and I am down with fever and flu. But like what I have said, it was all worth it. So instead of doing the last minute shopping which is the original plan, my cousin and I decided to stay home and rest. I on the other hand continued with my stalking agenda. Our parents did the last minute shopping and packing. Then of course, it was time to say goodbye.

Back to my Meds

Before I start blabbing about this topic let me refresh your memory. A year ago, I was diagnosed with first stage of diabetes, meaning my sugar level was too high and I am .1 away from being a diabetic. So my Endoc prescribed tons of medications to control my sugar level and to make me lose weight. I took the medicine for awhile but because of my superficial belief of self destruction I stopped. It was a bad move. Maybe I was so fucked up at that time and now everything is taking a toll on me. We (my cousin and I, we included this in our vacation agenda last week) visited a dermatologist because we are so vain. We tried everything we wanted on the menu including the lipo slim. A lipo slim ladies and gentlemen is a non surgical liposuction procedure. It has this handy laser thingy that melts your fat away just by rubbing on the affected area. I swear I lose 3 cm. in just 15 minutes but eventually gained it back because we ate at Chili’s after. LOLZ! Thank God Dra. Foronda gave this for free because if not, there goes my 5k away…

Going back… Dra. Foronda suggested procedures and solutions to help me lose weight without undergoing the knife. After tracking my medical records, BOOM! My past high blood sugar level issue was brought up. So to cut the story short, I am back in my meds, back to the basic food diet, back to my perpetual nausea, loose bowel movement and vomiting… in short, back to being a lame ass walking drugstore.

The Departure PART TWO

Being in the Evil Empire for more than two years is actually a record breaking. Despite of the fucked up environment that we have here, I still managed to cope up and stay sane because I still have some people around me trying our best to ignore and just survive. However, a year ago, the crimsonabstract gave up and I was left alone in this God forsaken jungle. The moment he handed the resignation letter, I was an inch close to sending mine. But I want to prove something. I wanted to show the world that I can handle my own shit alone and I can survive. But I struggled. And so I FORCED and BEGGED the sunriseshotgun to apply and share the misery with me. I know that move was too selfish but I managed to convince him. After almost six months of him working in the Evil Empire, everything gets way evil, growing fangs and blowing flames every day. Misery couldn’t even catch up with what we are having and the desolation came twice harder for my friend. So he also quit.

Today is his last day and I on the other hand will be left alone, again. I know how he tried to stay but things are really not good and I don’t want to be selfish anymore. Kaya Dude, Salamat ng Marami!

Quoting Barney Stinson "When I am feeling sad... I stop being sad and be AWESOME instead..." All shit will end someday and will be high fiving and spreading are awesomeness for all eternity.