Monday, September 10, 2012

MUNDONG PARISUKAT



sa mundong ka'y gulo
tayo ay pinagtagpo
mga mata'y nagkatama
ng hindi sinasadya

ang ating mga pusong sugatan
at mga matang luhaan
ay tanda ng ating kahapon
na hindi natin naiwasan

ngunit ng tayo'y nagkita na
ang hapdi ay di na ininda
sapagkat wala ng mahihiling pa
dahil tayo'y nagkasama na

sa ating bagong mundo
tayo lang ang magkasalo
sa apat na sulok nito
pag-ibig lang ang pupuno

sa saliw ng ating tugtugin
ang ibang mundo'y limutin
ikaw lang at ako
sa parisukat nating mundo

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Just Like In Fairy Tales


Disclaimer: This is going to be a long piece of rant.

Let’s talk about LOVE.

I know I’ve owned the drama queen title for almost half a decade and this blogsite has been my avenue to proliferate my emoish and fucktard brain farts.  People who regularly read my blog (because I am forcing them to do so) knew that my whole life is written here. I am updating this blogsite more often than I clean my room. Meaning, this is my whole life.

Last week, I have a terrible realization while scanning my past entries—I missed being in love.

I missed the emotional rollercoaster rides. I missed all the cheeziness and the gooeyness. I missed the feeling of having someone to hold you at night and cuddle you till you fall asleep. I missed the kisses and the hugs. I missed the constant feeling of love and being in love. I missed the fights and the overbearing relationship dramas and woes. I missed being in a relationship.

I just had my heart (and life) broken a year ago and it was one of the lowest points of my life. I was shattered into million pieces. I died a year ago (not literally but almost) and was able to rise back from the dead. It was a terrible travesty but with the help of my family and friends, I was able to survive and get back on my feet again. Now, I am back in the game; back in the corporate world; back in my usual normal-abnormal state; back to being jolly… back to being ME.



But even in the state of undefined bliss, I knew eventually I will have to try and fall in love again. It is not emotionally healthy to withstand my lack of emotional companionship with teeny bopper crushes and celebrity obsession. I can’t live my life sustaining the emptiness inside me with casual hook-ups and flirting.  Sometimes, it’s nice to fantasize that I can hang out with my friends without feeling sorry for myself because I often ended up being the ODD in the group. It’s not that I am not happy for their fruitful and blossoming love life but I really feel a pinch of awkwardness when they walk hand on hand while I am alone making out with no one but air.

If I feel this way, why am I saying that I am happy being in this situation? Well, simply because, I am really happy. However, that doesn’t mean I can live with that until my dying breath. I don’t want to be someone else’s burden. It’s nice to know that there’s this one person who’ll be there for you through thick and thin until you’re old and wrinkly. It doesn’t have to end in wedding bells or marriage license. Just the feeling of one true love is enough to endure passion and security between two people--heterosexual or homosexual. Lately, I’ve been trying to prove the world that I can do it by myself-- that I can do the couple stuffs alone. But I fail almost every day.

So this is me… hoping that one day, love will eventually knock on my front door and will sweep my feet away, just like in fairy tales. If you’re still with me, thank you for reading this awfully long piece of rant. Cheers!

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Ala Capre

Ala Capre at Sct. Santiago Timog Avenue, Q.C

 Baked Scallops
5 Stars

 Baked Oysters
5 Stars

 Cheese and Shrimp Pizza
5 Stars

 Deep Fried Tuna Belly
5 Stars

 Sansrival with Cotton Candy on Top
5 Stars

Cheese Nachos
4 Stars


Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Friday, August 17, 2012

A Year Ago...


It’s been a year since the last emotional fiasco I dealt with. I don’t know exactly what to write or how to even start this entry but all I wanted is to share how far I have become since that day. I can say that I am proud of myself for not giving up on life and it may look like I almost did but seriously, it was just an accident… will get to that later.


The Heartbreak



Everyone in my circle knew exactly what happen, how it happened and what made it happen. I don’t need to get into so many details because it is really that annoying to even begin with. It safe to say that I fell madly in love to a stick figure with no soul, a man with no heart but just flesh, an entity not a human being. I am not bitter , I have forgiven him and I have definitely moved on. But reflecting on what happen, even if that schiz happened a year ago—that thing still fucks my being.




The Accidental Death




Shortly after the heartbreak disaster, my thinking faculty was impaired and was clouded with different kinds of emotions resulting to even bigger damages that branched out all over my system. I was not in my regular self and thinking and most of my decision makings are factored with senseless act of rebellion combined with carelessness and self-destruction. I became abusive with my health, unintentionally. All I have in mind is I wanted to run away from the endless pain I am dealing with. I am a lousy coward and I can’t deal with the truth. I am too numb to even feel a single ounce of care to myself. And then, shit happened!





Memories were blurry. I can hear sobs and I can smell fear. I can’t feel my body. I can’t move my hands. I can’t feel anything. I am grasping for air. I turned to my right side; my father was holding my hand. I turned to the left; I saw doctors and nurses rushing to put medical machines in my body. I saw my mom from the outside, she’s crying and worried. I closed my eyes and I prayed harder than I ever prayed in my life—God! Am I dying? Please, not today. I am sorry.

When I opened my eyes, I felt a sudden sting in my pulse. On that instance, I was revived. I pursed my lips and slowly carved a smile. I called my mom and tell her everything is gonna be OK. Despite of the weakness and the soreness, I tried to be cheerful to ease the atmosphere.


Soon the doctors broke the good news—I am alive.




Up to this day, the white walls, the metallic medical thingy, the needles, the pump, and the tube haunts me like a poltergeist in the night. I still shiver each time I am reminded of that day. But if God will ask me to do it all over again, I’d still want that certain part of my life because no matter how scary things might be, something great happened after. It changed my life and it made me stronger and I hope wiser.


Wednesday, August 15, 2012

PNE, PMC and Bulalo @ 70's Bistro

After 2 months of being the only "new" girl in Azkaban. We finally decided to have a little break from our tedious and mundane daily activities and watched Parokya ni Edgar slammed their drums and pluck their guitars. Me, not a total newbie from rock parties totally enjoyed the ear splitting sound from one of the greatest Pinoy Rock band. 


We were a bit early so we were introduced to this band. I didn't recall their names but they were really funny. Except that most of their songs are just ripped off of different pop culture songs from other rock bands. I hope they will not get in trouble for that because they are really funny.


At around 12 midnight, PNE were all set and really STARTED the night. I've watch them literally a hundred times and they really know how to rock the hell out of their audience.


It's a superb performance from Parokya ni Edgar. It reminded me why I simply adore them for more than 20 years. They're the first pinoy rock band that completely dazzled me during my growth years. I just couldn't find the right words to describe how good they are in their craft. They are just outstandingly amazing.


Chito sung two of my favorite songs; One and Only You and Sampip. It came to me as a surprise since they never really sing that songs during normal gigs. They also tried to commemorate The Master Rapper Kiko Magalona when they sung Bagsakan. It wasn't that flawless but I am sure, somewhere out there Kiko is smiling at them while throwing a ROCK ON sign.


I have enjoyed my night with the PMC group. Though there are couple of embarrassing moment that I did. (Of course, that was expected) But not to defend myself, but I think I am still at my well behaved self despite of the sheer drunkenness that shrouded me. I could have been much worst. *wink


To end the night, the Boss treat us out for a hot Bulalo near my place. We had a nice hot meal to sober us up (which is an epic fail for me). To sum it all, it's been really nice that we finally had our moment outside the Azkaban. I think this is one fun moment that I will definitely miss when I go back to where I am supposed to be. Half of me wanted to stay but the other half reminds me that I don't have a choice. It sucks but I finally get it.

Thursday, August 9, 2012

ABE Restaurant

ABE Restaurant located at Serendra, Bonifacio High Street


Klassik Kare-Kare
4 Stars

Ginisang Mustasa
5 Stars

Da.U.De

After almost five years, I finally had the time to meet up with The Girls. They're my BFF when I was still young and well YOUNG. After a hearty lunch we decided to continue with our chit chat at Da.U.De Tea Lounge located at The Fort, Taguig City.



Mild Tea in Black Coffee and Creme 
5 Stars

 Mocha Cupcake
4 Stars

 Banana Cupcake
5 Stars

Classic Chocolate Cupcake
5 Stars

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

The Azkaban; The Tale of an Unhappy Soul


Three months ago I started working in Azkaban. It was a magical prison cell where compassion and self-worth is hard to justify and every moment you spend inside feels like eternity. The minute you set your foot on the ground, you can’t wait to take your step back. The Dementors will suck the happiness out of your system and fills it with misery and despair. So when it’s time to get out, you became susceptible to all kinds of pain resulting to emotional wreckage. Yet somehow, though wounded by despair, I still find reasons not to quit.

And now that everything is pretty much routine at Azkaban, I get a little bit comfortable with my new schedule and my prison mates. Though there are still boundaries that we haven’t cross yet, I feel less worried and more confident. But just as I am about to get too comfortable with how things develop, I received a very frustrating news coming from the Order. I am not really sure if I am allowed to discuss it here in the internet so I will not go with the exact details.

It was really frustrating and sad. I spent half an hour hiding inside the Room of Requirement and just cried my eyes out. I can’t find any damn excuse to pat myself at the back to shoo the feelings away. My brains went to overdrive imagining every possible vengeance I could do but in the end, I fixed myself up, let go of a long sigh and went back to work. My eyes were so puffy and my nose was so red from crying. I disregarded my shattered self as I talked to the Order and pretend that I am OK.

When I decided to go back to the corporate world, I open myself up to the possibilities of getting hurt again. I knew that I might end up with another company similar to The Empire. But I just can’t tolerate the stinking truth behind this world called CORPORATE. Behind the fame, power, money and glamour is a rotten ideology. I am happy; in fact, ecstatic with what I am doing there. That is why I never complain if I have to extend my working hours or even do extra work that is beyond my scope. I can say with absolute honesty that I have no regrets in exerting my best effort.

However, upon thinking it through, is it worth it? After learning the “news” from the Order, I feel like I was casted into twilight and thrown back to The Empire jack-assery all over again. It’s painful yet I have to deal with it every-fucking-day.

It’s a travesty and it’s hopeless. And even Harry Potter and his magic wand couldn’t ease even a nip of pain I am feeling right now. After all these years of staying in this world, I just couldn't be like them; like The Order or The Empire. Maybe, just maybe... I am not fit to be in this world. I just wish that I can stay sane, up until my contract ends.   

Monday, July 16, 2012

The Phoenix Enhanced

I am scanning my blog site this morning because I need a break from my tedious job and found out that I never posted my newly re-vamped tattoo. I realized I wanted more fire on my Phoenix because the first one wasn't that "bright" enough for me. So after taking a lot of consideration and saving moolah, I contacted my favorite tattoo artist Alain of 55 Tinta and scheduled a session.

I told Alain this exact words... "Hindi ako kuntento sa apoy, pwede mong sindihan!" He shrugged and laughed at the same time and asked me who did this. I said, it was one of my spur of the moment so I didn't get exactly what I want. 

He then started pouring alcohol on my back and sketching the "Fire" on my Phoenix. After a few minutes, I heard the buzzing sound of his tattoo gadgety thingy. I knew it was GAME ON! I can never get used to it. I am nervous like hell. I took a quick swig of my Red Horse and gave him the go signal.

After 2 and a half hours.... my tattoo that looks like this,


became this....

I am happy with the end result. Despite of the pain and the shaking I love how Alain enhanced my Phoenix. 

Now, looking at the pictures makes me remember that I wanted more. Well, not more-more but one last HOORAH before I hit twenty seven. So I am currently scanning every tattoo websites and look book for designs I wanted and started sketching my own. 

Sizzling Pepper Steak

Sizzling Pepper Steak at Shang-Ri La Mall Ortigas, Pasig City


Beef Yakiniku
5 Stars

Central

Central @ Emilia St. (beside Cash and Carry) Makati City.

 Sizzling Bistek Tagalog
5 Stars

 "Chicharon Bulaklak"
note: you can never go wrong with this one
5 Stars

Sizzling Spicy Tuna
4 Stars

Monday, June 25, 2012

KAIN GALORE

Adobo Connection at Valero St. Makati City

Adobo Flakes
4 Stars




Seafood Island at Robinsons Galleria Ortigas Pasig City

Palawan Shore
5 Stars






Whistlestop at Jupiter St. Makati City

Beef Tapa
5 Stars



Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Koolstix

Koolstix located at SM Centerpoint 2nd level. 

Nothing special on the taste but it's really cool how it looks like. :)






Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Tulfo, Lady Gaga, Jessica Sanchez and PBB Teens: Why My Motor Boat is Running These Days


Even if it doesn’t matter to you, I wanted to share my views on different issues. It may not be worth reading for some but for me, it is… 

  • Tulfo vs. Santiago Airport Incident

People in my social network knew exactly my opinion about this one. So to summarize the reasons why I keep on posting rants on my FB and Twitter page about how I despised everything the Santiagos has to say regarding this issue, here’s my side:

I am not a fan of the Tulfo’s neither like them IN ANY WAY but disregarding the video being shown in almost all TV networks, social media sites and different streaming tool, HITTING A 60 YEAR OLD MAN IS NOT RIGHT! The Santiagos stated that Tulfo took the first punch and hit Claudine. Really?! Raymart?! REALLY?! Do you really expect me to believe you that a grown-public figure-mentally stable-man will hit a woman just because she talked loudly in front of him? Think about it. 



The Santiagos were convincing the public that Claudine was badly hurt because of the incident that took place in NAIA 3 terminal by attending press cons and interviews limping. Now, if you really want to pull that crap off… try to be at least more attentive to details. Do you really think improvising (as what artists really do when they’re acting) will work this time? People are not that dumb, you know?! So really think about it.


Now with the involvement of the video, Mon has physical evidence and witnesses so what made you think that you can convince me that everything you said were all true? And what’s with the Child Abuse law suit? Do you think your children obtained that “trauma” from Mon’s actions or is it because your children saw their parents hit an OLD MAN without hesitation and verbally abused a ground stewardess? REALLY?! Think about it.

And what happen to the old Ako ay Pilipino, Matapang na Tao?! When did we all become pussies?! What makes you think one on three is acceptable? Where’s “man’s ego” when you needed it? Haven’t we all agreed since Lapu-Lapu’s time that “kuyog” is an act of pussyness? Even our LGBT community is not fond of doing that. Shame on you Raymart and the other-unknown-guy who apparently loves attention so much.

I am not pro-violence but I don’t like pussies too. If people consider physical retribution as an answer to all their personal issues, then we should at least write a code of ethics on fist fighting. So our next generation will not follow this act of pussyness from the Santiagos.  

And for the Tulfo brothers, I know you are bad-asses and you all have that mafia blood and overflowing testosterone in your bodies but you didn’t have to scare those pussies away. It’s not worth it and even if it does, you should at least not brag about it on air. Ayan tuloy na censor kayo ng MTRCB. But seriously, deep down, I am curiously waiting for this to happen… everyone does. They’re just afraid to say it out loud. 

It narrows down to one horrible conclusion. For both sides: YOU ARE ALL PUBLIC FIGURES. WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT, YOU HAVE TO SPEAK, ACT AND LIVE ON THE SHADOWS OF YOUR FAME. YOU ARE EXPECTED TO ACT RESPONSIBLY AT ALL TIMES. THAT’S THE STINKY TRUTH BEHIND YOUR GLAMOROUS LIFE. I am not a celebrity but I am not dumb enough not to know that. You should know better.


  • Lady Gaga vs. Religious Groups

Ok, I will try to carefully choose my words in writing this piece because I don’t wanna rot in hell just because I sounded like I am defending a human being who was categorized by religious orders as a devil worshipper. 

“I am not a creature of your government, MANILA!”—an excerpt from Lady Gaga’s Monster Ball Concert last night in MOA Arena Grounds….

I am not a fan of Lady Gaga. I only knew some of her songs and mostly because it was featured on Glee (my favorite TV show). But I know her iconic and out of the box fashion and her vow of individuality. Again, I am not a fan but I admire her way of thinking. I respect her as an artist and as an individual. I didn’t watch any of her concerts and up to this day, I haven’t listened to her song “Judas” (which is apparently the song in questioned). Though, out of curiosity, I read the lyrics and carefully scrutinized every word in the song.


“Jesus is my virtue, Judas is the demon I cling to”—Ok, this particular part is quite questionable. However, the song does not start and end there. The song is obviously about falling in love with a wrong man. It was done in metaphorical context so it doesn’t mean that she wanted to praise the devil. The problem with us-- is we base our actions on our initial emotions. Once we felt insulted or offended, we initially act without thinking. I know, because I sometimes do that. I am also guilty of doing stupid things out of initial reaction. 

I respect everyone’s opinion. If you feel insulted and offended by her songs because your Christian values were violated then don’t patronize her. Don’t support her. Don’t watch her shows. Don’t listen to her songs. No one is forcing you to do so but don’t force other people who appreciates Lady Gaga’s craft into hating her. You have your choice; they are allowed to have it too. Everyone is entitled to be who they want themselves to be and believe to whatever they want to believe. Tapos na ang panahon ng mga Prayle sa Pilipinas, hindi na mangmang ang mga Pilipino.
 
Every day we are striving for the pursuit of happiness and democracy, so why are we making this a national issue? Religion and belief is a choice. It saddened me that we have so many important national issues (e.g. poverty, drugs, crime, economic crisis etc.) in line and here they are protesting for issues not worth protesting.

  • Jessica Sanchez; The Next American Filipina Idol

I cried when Joshua Ledet was eliminated last week from the American Idol race. He was my favorite among the bunch. Don’t get me wrong, as much as I constantly twitting how I am infatuated with Colton and Philip, talent-wise—I am hands down Joshua. But because we have our very own Filipina-Mexican talent in the contest, that’s a different story. Jessica Sanchez, is by far the most talented contestant ever joined in American Idol. She is genuinely and immensely full of awesomeness that will make you damned not to love her. Joshua might half an inch better than Jessica, (again, talent-wise) but our own half Filipina-made have this unquestionable charm, x-factor and over-all package that Joshua hasn’t. And that reasons, should I dare say, enough to make Jessica the first Filipina-American Idol. 


  • ABS-CBN PBB Teen Edition; The Horrible Face of Philippine Youth

Promise this is not as shallow as you think it is. The surface is superficial but the underlying issues are seriously alarming. I’ve been quite relaxed these days which gives me the luxury to watch shows just because I don’t have anything else to do. And one show that really threw me off my back was the newest edition of ABS-CBN Pinoy Big Brother Teens. 




It started when I read something from Twitter. It was juicy enough to persuade me to watch the reality show. Lo and behold, upon switching the channel, I was hooked. Not because I was entertained but I was like looking at the future leaders of tomorrow behaving like Neanderthals. I feel like I was time travelling from the era where values and self-respect is not properly established.
It scares me that if they behave like that in a house full of video cameras what kind of behavior we can expect from them if the cameras went off; That idea alone made me reminisce my hay days. I was wild and born free—so I thought I was. I thought I lived my youthful years on the edge of boundaries but after watching episode per episode, I sort of feel a lot better. 

I can never pull that off…

I am sorry for lack of detailed information but I can’t find any proper words to describe what kind of actions you can witness from these kids. Yes, kids that just literally just got out of beginner’s bra, kids that barely have chest hairs, kids that are supposed to be enjoying Funny Comics instead of Cosmopolitan and FHM magazines… YES! These kids are now talking about marrying their first boyfriend, these kids are fighting over the affection of one man and not considering that they are behaving like sluts on national TV, these kids kissing and hugging AGAIN on national TV. And to make this matter worst, this reality show is shown everyday on PRIMETIME! *barf

You should watch this, so you can feel my disgust.

Bottom line: MTRCB should you first attend to this rather than the Tulfo Brothers’s issue?!

Saturday, May 19, 2012

The New Kid Story

So here's the thing. I started out with my new gig a couple of weeks ago. As hard as I wanted to walk away from the corporate world, that's how it goes strong in pushing me deep down until I can barely even recognize the sole purpose of being in this field. I now work for one of the biggest cellphone company in the entire Philippines. Not that we have so many options but this is pretty good. Pay is good. So far, work load is fine. People are nice in their own not so obvious ways. But what makes it really really surprising is how I manage to get into this position (without pulling any strings) that is obviously beyond my league.

Here are some points I want to stress out:

Let's start on a more shallow level. Aesthetically speaking, i don't blend well with my co-workers. You can ask anyone in my circle that I really do mind what I put on my back. I allot enough time and effort to do my hair, my make-up and my dress. But no matter how much effort I put on, still I don't look like them. To give you a picture of what I'm saying this is how the rest of the office looks like (see left picture) and this is how I dressed (see right picture). Now, i despised working on that floor. (for that matter only)



Topics of conversation; I'm single, child-less by choice and have no indication even a blink of socially accepted copulation. So most of the time, I stare blankly at my co-workers while nibbling my guts and pretending I have something to contribute with their baby topics. With that, I always failed miserably.

And lastly, I may have vast experience with Quality Management but handling one whole department is another story. I can feel the pressure on my shoulders just by looking at their hopeful eyes.  I am Capt. America and I will save them from the super-evil ISO auditors. Not that I am complaining, but that idea scares the shit out of me. Though, I learned from my past that being afraid is normal but we shouldn't let our fears overshadow our success. SO BRING IT ON! :)

Don’t get me wrong. I love working. It’s just that looking back when I was still young and still dreaming, this is not exactly what I planned my life will be. That is why I color outside the lines and do not confine myself with norms when I was growing up. I specifically wanted that kind of life where I don’t sit on my ass 9 to 14 hours a day, diddling with my keyboard. I don’t plan my life having a committed relationship with my personal computer. I want adventure, I want thrill… I want life. But instead, I am forced to swim onto the depths of technical boredom and live my life with standards, margins, rules or whatever words that can describe how strict customary procedure I am into.

Oh well, life is really changing while you are busy planning it.