Ondoy Nearly Kill Us All-- May God Help Us

Three days of non-stop tragedy, flash floods, landslides, people dying, mass starvation—the whole Philippines are grieving for their lost properties and loved ones. As much as I love my position right now, I can’t just bum around and watch my fellow Filipinos crying for help. I may not be the nicest person in the whole planet and those who knew me would probably agree that I am a bitch… but at times like this, when the whole country is in deep shit—I couldn’t help but to be nice.

Typhoon Ondoy really made a big impression when it entered the Philippine area of responsibility last Friday night forcing the President to declare 27 provinces in NCR including Metro Manila to be in the state of calamity. I was cool with it at first. My bed time was somehow comforting than before. I was up all night reading Dan Brown’s newest novel, The Symbol when I decided to checked what was going on outside. It was raining like hell.

I woke up the following day with half of the city swimming in filthy rain water. I had to cancel my badminton session with my friends since most of the areas were not passable to begin with. My thoughts weren’t that bad at that time. It was normal. Whole night of raining equals flooded area in Mega Manila. It was just a usual cycle that’s been going on for the past decades. But when news reports started to fill us with pictures and videos showing us that there were people dying and flood were rising all the way on top of a two story houses… I was frightened.

Everyone was affected. Rich, poor, average, celebrities, non-celebrities— all of them are equal prey in the eye of this monstrous typhoon. Three of my friends… closest friends including my best friend, my sister and the crimson abstract were greatly affected and ruined by Ondoy. My best friend was forced to spend the night over in my crib because she was forced to evacuate from her house. My sister and the crimson abstract were both living in the most affected area. Their housed were both eaten by the flash flood.

I can’t believe that happened and up to now I couldn’t grasp the gravity of the situation. I wanted to help… seriously. I wanted to go out and help in doing the volunteer works. I am just trying to find out on how to squeeze in my philanthropic self into my shit because the last time I checked, I have my own personal flood in my work schedule.

For now, I am monitoring the latest updates and checking up with my friends. So Philippines, let's hold our hands and stand up... We can do this. We are born survivors. We are brave. GOD SAVE US ALL!!!

CORPORATE CRISIS--- Not My Thing

I just had my first anniversary in this sweatshop last month—much waited day because I am sort of expecting something good will happen. Well, most of us share those same sentiments. But this week became a season of negative blast off for the entire TW. The richy client decided to break his “good” news in person. Yes, he flew right from across the globe just to tell us that we are not getting anything this year.

I was kind of hopeful that the client will be kind enough to shed a few bucks in exchange for

indefinite hard labor here. But everything was crashed the moment he opened his mouth and talked. After that very moment, I felt betrayed. I felt a sudden outburst of anger. My system automatically stopped from functioning. I stayed for a couple of hours more to digest everything and after a few hours of non-stop whining from everyone… I went home.

The following day was a complete struggle. As much as I wanted to use the remaining energy that I am storing for the longest time, it’s not enough to fathom the moment and make it worthwhile for me. I made it to the office after an hour of internal debate. But as soon as my feet stepped on the floor and my nose smelled the scent of the corporate environment, the “good news” from yesterday came flowing out from my throat like a vomit. That day—I went home earlier than the NORMAL usual.

Next day--- I can no longer pretend. I didn’t show up. Instead, I spend my remaining waking hour inside my room doing my extra labor so I could still sustain my daily expenses. I am belting three jobs right now. I have my day job which is of course the normal-office poop job. The second one is the SEO gig that was given to me by my former manager and the latest one is bio writing from my mentor. Seriously, I am killing myself slowly by working 20 hours a day. Of course, I have to rummage where to put in my leisure like my sport activities, bonding with friends and family time.

I am perpetually tired… literally. My back is aching constantly, my eyes are swollen and red and my eye bags are having eye bags of its own. I think my life right now is a perfect sample of what to do guide on how to commit suicide. Being a workaholic douche is not my thing, but earning a penny from your day job isn’t good at all. It’s not that I am asking for too much… All I need was a little reward or motivation from them. Isn’t that what really happens in the corporate world?]

It’s a good thing… I am off to Subic this weekend. I desperately need a vacation to unwind.

How ‘Bout A Round Of Applause

It’s been two months since the day I finally accepted that I cannot start any real relationship with another human being because there are some feelings that I need to overcome with before I do so. The previous one was a big mistake. He might be reading this but seriously it wasn’t my plan. I didn’t mean to use and hurt him this way but it was just now that I completely understand why things weren’t working out. It’s because I am into someone else. I am not sure if it is love but I am totally positive that he’s the one I want to be with right now.

Two years ago, I met a man who for some reason sweeps my sanity away from my nuts. But this

guy is fucking married and he really loves his family. It started out with just a simple infatuation. I admire him for his superb talent in music and his dedication in his craft. And then we became friends-- a little inch closer from the rest of the group. I can relate to him as well as he can relate to me easily despite of the age gap. With that, my so called infatuation was nurtured and he then became an obsession. I am digging my grave faster than I thought. Everyone in my group were all despising the fact that he ever existed and perpetually reminding me of the seventh and tenth commandment of God. But I am stubborn. So before I knew it, I am fallen for my own shit and the only way I could think of is to run away. I did that. I took off and leave his world.

I thought I was doing fine. I still talked to him on a distant communication. I never had the courage to see him after I left. I never tried to test my courage since I am too scared to fail. Then I met someone that saved me from that crappy hell. I thought I was happy but things eventually turned bad and awful. I broke his heart as I left him.

I was regaining my life back. Quenching alcohol and partying with my old and new friends. Then one normal night, I got acquainted from the man I ran away from two years ago. At that moment I had no choice but to face him. I honestly feel that I can do it without the peculiar feeling that I used to have. But I was wrong... the moment I looked at his eyes and his hand brushed my face, those two years of learning how to let go had just popped like a bubble in my face. He knows how to unnerve me and made me do things I shouldn’t have done in the first place. I knew it was wrong. But even if I knew that it was erroneous, just the thought of him makes it all right. That night was magical, the feeling was unfathomable and I swear I would want to stop and let the moment stay forever. But the sun was rising fast and that signaled us that we should all go back to our senses. Reality has to smack our faces that the magical moment was just a dream and it was time to wake up. It was time to stand up and go back to our daily lives—the normal lives which we both dwells on to. The kind of truth that I wanted to bury for the longest time—that he belongs to someone else’s sky and I am alone with a broken heart and a broken self.

And today, I am running again—running away from him. But I am much wiser… I certainly think that. I can’t say that playing the role of the home wrecker bitch for a night is a wise move but doing things to seize that moment from happening is brilliant.

Writing in this blog is like having an invisible friend. It’s like a confession box where I can just type away all the thoughts that my brain could possibly generate. Most will definitely be shocked or might think that I have written the gayest entry of all time… But this part of my life makes me stronger and it inspires me more to be a better human being. This is my life’s journey that I would never ever want to forget. All the values and the pain molded me to become a decent and enhanced woman.

But you put on quite a show, really had me going.

But now it's time to go, curtains finally closing.

That was quite a show, very entertaining...

BUT IT'S OVER NOW... GO ON AND TAKE A BOW!

Christmas Wish List; It's not too early to wish...

I know it’s too early for Christmas… but hell yes! I am making my Christmas Wish List now…

1.)    A nice and durable tent that can accommodate at least 3 people.



2.)    Handy Swiss Knife



3.)    Nokia 5800

4.)    Zen Creative




5.)    San Sebastian Stags Hoodies... GO BASTE! GO BASTE!!! GO! GO! GO! GO BASTE!!!


6.)    Sports Watch



7.)    Waterproof Sports Bag



8.)    Nikon D40 DSLR



9.)    Ray Ban Aviator Shades



10.)  And a nice dinner date with a certain special someone (kahit wala na yung 1-9, kahit ito lang pwede na)

So friends and family… now you have the idea of what I am expecting when I unwrapped my presents this Christmas. I would prefer pink colored items… LOLZ!