Separated AT (happy?) Birth prt 1

I really had to re-post this... sorry

[caption id="attachment_211" align="aligncenter" width="401" caption="athley and sir armando"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_212" align="aligncenter" width="400" caption="bearwin and rod tinapay"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_213" align="aligncenter" width="400" caption="soxy and egwin"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_214" align="aligncenter" width="400" caption="ferdz and samantha futerman"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_215" align="aligncenter" width="400" caption="papa gerard and leandro baldemor"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_217" align="aligncenter" width="405" caption="jay and nishikido ryo"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_218" align="aligncenter" width="400" caption="kenneth and matt hardy"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_219" align="aligncenter" width="400" caption="lani misalucha and Anjsh and girl sa cup ng mcdo"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_220" align="aligncenter" width="400" caption="loubelle luis and cookie chua"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_221" align="aligncenter" width="400" caption="paul ruiz and paco arespacochaga"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_222" align="aligncenter" width="400" caption="pepe and victor neri"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_223" align="aligncenter" width="400" caption="rikki and mctonight"][/caption]

Till next!!! xoxo...

Ondoy Nearly Kill Us All-- May God Help Us

Three days of non-stop tragedy, flash floods, landslides, people dying, mass starvation—the whole Philippines are grieving for their lost properties and loved ones. As much as I love my position right now, I can’t just bum around and watch my fellow Filipinos crying for help. I may not be the nicest person in the whole planet and those who knew me would probably agree that I am a bitch… but at times like this, when the whole country is in deep shit—I couldn’t help but to be nice.

Typhoon Ondoy really made a big impression when it entered the Philippine area of responsibility last Friday night forcing the President to declare 27 provinces in NCR including Metro Manila to be in the state of calamity. I was cool with it at first. My bed time was somehow comforting than before. I was up all night reading Dan Brown’s newest novel, The Symbol when I decided to checked what was going on outside. It was raining like hell.

I woke up the following day with half of the city swimming in filthy rain water. I had to cancel my badminton session with my friends since most of the areas were not passable to begin with. My thoughts weren’t that bad at that time. It was normal. Whole night of raining equals flooded area in Mega Manila. It was just a usual cycle that’s been going on for the past decades. But when news reports started to fill us with pictures and videos showing us that there were people dying and flood were rising all the way on top of a two story houses… I was frightened.

Everyone was affected. Rich, poor, average, celebrities, non-celebrities— all of them are equal prey in the eye of this monstrous typhoon. Three of my friends… closest friends including my best friend, my sister and the crimson abstract were greatly affected and ruined by Ondoy. My best friend was forced to spend the night over in my crib because she was forced to evacuate from her house. My sister and the crimson abstract were both living in the most affected area. Their housed were both eaten by the flash flood.

I can’t believe that happened and up to now I couldn’t grasp the gravity of the situation. I wanted to help… seriously. I wanted to go out and help in doing the volunteer works. I am just trying to find out on how to squeeze in my philanthropic self into my shit because the last time I checked, I have my own personal flood in my work schedule.

For now, I am monitoring the latest updates and checking up with my friends. So Philippines, let's hold our hands and stand up... We can do this. We are born survivors. We are brave. GOD SAVE US ALL!!!

CORPORATE CRISIS--- Not My Thing

I just had my first anniversary in this sweatshop last month—much waited day because I am sort of expecting something good will happen. Well, most of us share those same sentiments. But this week became a season of negative blast off for the entire TW. The richy client decided to break his “good” news in person. Yes, he flew right from across the globe just to tell us that we are not getting anything this year.

I was kind of hopeful that the client will be kind enough to shed a few bucks in exchange for

indefinite hard labor here. But everything was crashed the moment he opened his mouth and talked. After that very moment, I felt betrayed. I felt a sudden outburst of anger. My system automatically stopped from functioning. I stayed for a couple of hours more to digest everything and after a few hours of non-stop whining from everyone… I went home.

The following day was a complete struggle. As much as I wanted to use the remaining energy that I am storing for the longest time, it’s not enough to fathom the moment and make it worthwhile for me. I made it to the office after an hour of internal debate. But as soon as my feet stepped on the floor and my nose smelled the scent of the corporate environment, the “good news” from yesterday came flowing out from my throat like a vomit. That day—I went home earlier than the NORMAL usual.

Next day--- I can no longer pretend. I didn’t show up. Instead, I spend my remaining waking hour inside my room doing my extra labor so I could still sustain my daily expenses. I am belting three jobs right now. I have my day job which is of course the normal-office poop job. The second one is the SEO gig that was given to me by my former manager and the latest one is bio writing from my mentor. Seriously, I am killing myself slowly by working 20 hours a day. Of course, I have to rummage where to put in my leisure like my sport activities, bonding with friends and family time.

I am perpetually tired… literally. My back is aching constantly, my eyes are swollen and red and my eye bags are having eye bags of its own. I think my life right now is a perfect sample of what to do guide on how to commit suicide. Being a workaholic douche is not my thing, but earning a penny from your day job isn’t good at all. It’s not that I am asking for too much… All I need was a little reward or motivation from them. Isn’t that what really happens in the corporate world?]

It’s a good thing… I am off to Subic this weekend. I desperately need a vacation to unwind.

How ‘Bout A Round Of Applause

It’s been two months since the day I finally accepted that I cannot start any real relationship with another human being because there are some feelings that I need to overcome with before I do so. The previous one was a big mistake. He might be reading this but seriously it wasn’t my plan. I didn’t mean to use and hurt him this way but it was just now that I completely understand why things weren’t working out. It’s because I am into someone else. I am not sure if it is love but I am totally positive that he’s the one I want to be with right now.

Two years ago, I met a man who for some reason sweeps my sanity away from my nuts. But this

guy is fucking married and he really loves his family. It started out with just a simple infatuation. I admire him for his superb talent in music and his dedication in his craft. And then we became friends-- a little inch closer from the rest of the group. I can relate to him as well as he can relate to me easily despite of the age gap. With that, my so called infatuation was nurtured and he then became an obsession. I am digging my grave faster than I thought. Everyone in my group were all despising the fact that he ever existed and perpetually reminding me of the seventh and tenth commandment of God. But I am stubborn. So before I knew it, I am fallen for my own shit and the only way I could think of is to run away. I did that. I took off and leave his world.

I thought I was doing fine. I still talked to him on a distant communication. I never had the courage to see him after I left. I never tried to test my courage since I am too scared to fail. Then I met someone that saved me from that crappy hell. I thought I was happy but things eventually turned bad and awful. I broke his heart as I left him.

I was regaining my life back. Quenching alcohol and partying with my old and new friends. Then one normal night, I got acquainted from the man I ran away from two years ago. At that moment I had no choice but to face him. I honestly feel that I can do it without the peculiar feeling that I used to have. But I was wrong... the moment I looked at his eyes and his hand brushed my face, those two years of learning how to let go had just popped like a bubble in my face. He knows how to unnerve me and made me do things I shouldn’t have done in the first place. I knew it was wrong. But even if I knew that it was erroneous, just the thought of him makes it all right. That night was magical, the feeling was unfathomable and I swear I would want to stop and let the moment stay forever. But the sun was rising fast and that signaled us that we should all go back to our senses. Reality has to smack our faces that the magical moment was just a dream and it was time to wake up. It was time to stand up and go back to our daily lives—the normal lives which we both dwells on to. The kind of truth that I wanted to bury for the longest time—that he belongs to someone else’s sky and I am alone with a broken heart and a broken self.

And today, I am running again—running away from him. But I am much wiser… I certainly think that. I can’t say that playing the role of the home wrecker bitch for a night is a wise move but doing things to seize that moment from happening is brilliant.

Writing in this blog is like having an invisible friend. It’s like a confession box where I can just type away all the thoughts that my brain could possibly generate. Most will definitely be shocked or might think that I have written the gayest entry of all time… But this part of my life makes me stronger and it inspires me more to be a better human being. This is my life’s journey that I would never ever want to forget. All the values and the pain molded me to become a decent and enhanced woman.

But you put on quite a show, really had me going.

But now it's time to go, curtains finally closing.

That was quite a show, very entertaining...

BUT IT'S OVER NOW... GO ON AND TAKE A BOW!

Christmas Wish List; It's not too early to wish...

I know it’s too early for Christmas… but hell yes! I am making my Christmas Wish List now…

1.)    A nice and durable tent that can accommodate at least 3 people.



2.)    Handy Swiss Knife



3.)    Nokia 5800

4.)    Zen Creative




5.)    San Sebastian Stags Hoodies... GO BASTE! GO BASTE!!! GO! GO! GO! GO BASTE!!!


6.)    Sports Watch



7.)    Waterproof Sports Bag



8.)    Nikon D40 DSLR



9.)    Ray Ban Aviator Shades



10.)  And a nice dinner date with a certain special someone (kahit wala na yung 1-9, kahit ito lang pwede na)

So friends and family… now you have the idea of what I am expecting when I unwrapped my presents this Christmas. I would prefer pink colored items… LOLZ!

Busted, the Island Adventure and the Shakers!!!

Busted

I’ve been keeping a huge secret from someone so close to avoid getting my ass screwed. It’s not offensive or even harmful. It’s actually a crappy feeling I have for this certain person. I’ve been keeping an eye on this person for about three months and secretly molesting him in my imagination (just kiddin’). But it never occurred to me that confessing my unfathomable desire could be an option. I’d rather keep it, burned it and buried it 12 feet under. Complicated situation is the last thing I need right now.

But as my old folks would say… Walang sikretong hindi nabubunyag. In just a 2 minute conversation, I went pale, felt dehydrated and constipated at the same time, beads running in my temples, I was shivering, I am stuttering… He caught me red-handed! I’m doomed! But I guess it wasn’t much of a big deal so things are still ok… I think so!



The Island Adventure

I never thought being trapped in a remote island could be so much fun. Though it scared the shit out of me, in the end, things were considered as BBRC’s ultimate adventure. Carlo, Ryan and I planned an out of town outing last weekend. Despite of Carlo’s lost license and star card; we drove Bogart all the way to Zambales. To make the whole story short, we landed ourselves in a remote island in Pundaqui Zambales. The commoners called that island Camara. Since there were no available rooms in the resort we decided to spend the night in the island. It didn’t occurred to us that the weather was so effin’ unpredictable so by 7pm, it started raining. The rain wasn’t just tiny droplets of bead, it was a typhoon. We don’t have a light, we don’t have enough food and we don’t know how to swim… alas! We’re screwed! Water started to enter our tent so we have no choice but to protect our things from getting wet. We manage to survive that situation till morning. So what can I say? Amazing race, Survivor and Blairwitch project all in one show!



And the Shakers

Last night was enjoyable. Since, I am hanging out with the Dell babies… everything is surprisingly spectacular. It all began when Baby Girl and I forcedly invite ourselves (again) to watch the Shakers rockin’ in Sazi’s. Since the gig will not start until 9pm and we have a lot of time to chill… I invited them to spend our idle moments in my crib. We have so much time in our hands so we decided to start the fun. Tanduay plus Coke plus lechon manok plus videoke equals uber crazy night. My head was swirling and my face was getting numb. My night ended with me pinching the Almighty Don in the ass twice and with a powerful smash in the head from Baby Girl. Sounds cool… ayt?

Ang gwapo ni Kean ng Callalily!!!!

I’m A Big Big Girl In a Big Big World

It’s been a week since the douchebag “gay” co-worker left me in this jungle. And I thought I couldn’t survive a day without someone who could rewire my sanity and tolerate my occasional “blonde moments”. I thought the adjustment period will be so damn tough and I am actually scared of it which to the extent that I don’t want to talk or even think about it. I just let it happen like I don’t give an effin care.

Keeping your existence in this sweatshop is something you couldn’t use to. It’s like an everyday learning process or a fortune cookie which you’ll never have a single clue with what’s inside till you crack it. And somehow, I have stayed in here without passing out with the help of that particular fag. Seriously, I didn’t get emoish which they all expected when he decided to quit the job. Well, that signifies that I am a big girl now and I could handle things by myself. Of course, the digital gay dream is still here (though I need to choose between waking up too early or staying up too late just to have an actual conversation) so that really helps a lot.

The grand poker night went through with enough satisfaction. As expected, we boozed ourselves up to the limit, did some scandalous acts, cursed people and even touched (unintentional) someone else’s boobies (LMAO!!!) The party went off till sunrise and the only thing that kept us from breaking our vocal chords was the fact that we were so damn exhausted. I literally passed out without even making it to the real bed. I woke up hugging my bag, curled in the sofa with intolerable stomach ache. I scanned the area and recognized I wasn’t home yet. Thirty minutes later, the rest of the group were all up and I knew it was time to go home.

The booze I took that night made me realize that things are happening the way it should be; that I should learn how to stand alone and be brave to face all the shitty things that will come my way; that I should learn not to depend to other people. And maybe, just maybe… I was so scared to be alone not because I couldn’t be me but because I am scared to open up the real me. I was too ashamed to let this world know who I really am. I tend to pretend to be someone that I am not to cover up my shortcomings. I was so scared that they might not accept me the emoish, klutzy and insane me… Luckily, things are getting better. Slowly, things are getting better.

Yes, I am not witty or trivia cracker… I have lots of bloopers and retard moments. But I am funny and gregarious. So whether they accept me or not… I would still enjoy the remaining time that I will spent here in this sweet jungle. .. Seriously, the whole corporate idea wasn’t that bad after all.

Fat or Fit?

To start of with, I went to the gym yesterday. While the whole Philippines was mourning and joining the late former President Cory Aquino on her burial, I was in the gym sweating my fats away. I don’t know, it’s just that I only have few hours for my leisure (and now I consider exercise as a leisure) and that’s the only time I could burn calories. Sorry naman!

After I’ve slackened my lards away, my whole body is throbbing like hell. I already saw it coming and I knew I am doing it right. I’ve been taking my 6 month plan seriously and I am willing to give up my pig out fun just to pull this one off. I don’t exactly remember the time when I became enthusiastic in any sports but I definitely enjoying it now. Yes, I did some volleyball games from the past, but that didn’t made sense to me. At first, I am so determined to lose weight for a very stupid reason (which I don’t prefer to talk about) but now things are coming off differently. I actually wanted this for myself and not for someone else’s benefit.

Life is starting to get bitchy again. I am caught up between facing a nerve wracking challenge and a potentially flourishing friendship. I might reconsider ending my current job and prefer the other one (see previous entry; Bulleted Thoughts) The price is so tempting, I couldn’t even blink. Much to my surprise, the client is giving me all of my demands just to get me off of this current job. That scares the shit out of my ass. Me karapatan silang mag-kupal dahil malaki ang offer nila. Seriously, I don’t know what to do… I am just waiting for more signs.

Blame It On the Money...

It’s been a great week… at least not for me. This whole week marks the end of another futile friendship that I nurtured for more than five years. Yes, the friendship is pointless and it was rather shocking on my part considering that I’ve tried exerting effort on it. (That I don’t usually do…) But it got fucked up and now… we’re done.

What makes it really really shameful is the reason behind the “big fight”. That person ruptured one rule of friendship…. MONEY! I know it sucks. So the following morning I packed my office things and moved out from the cubicleville where that person resides in too. It was a drastic move and I knew that from the moment I started packing my things… all eyes and ears are on me. Now, they are making fun of the situation and that person became the new office big joke. I felt bad for that person but everything is just so effin wrong. I tried rationalizing the issue so I could revive the friendship back. But how can you forgive someone who‘s not even asking for forgiveness? You can’t see any trace of remorse on that person’s face. And with some occasional angry glance and raising eyebrows (and yes this is a little exaggeration), I just decided that from this on and forward… I wouldn’t even give a damn care. It’s not the end of the world. It’s just another petal that fell down from my garden of friends. (ehehehe…)

Come next Friday… there will be a grand poker night. It will be a night of booze, foods and party people. Everyone will enjoy the night… except me. I know it would be fun but it wouldn’t be that amusing if you knew that after that night… things will be A WHOLE NEW WORLD FOR ME. However, I know things are meant to happen and I am hoping that it would be the best for everyone.

Pero bwisit ka pa rin… Pero goodluck!

Puge Memoirs

Pictures posted on my wall

Splendid times and happy days

Never fading bull shits and craps

Joke times and fun

Hell yes! I miss you guys...

Our beer days and ice cream time

We start our day at night

Till sunrise shines at us

It never fails to make me laugh

When Egwin starts to whine at us

It makes my heart twirl in joy

When Rikki and Toby crack their joke

Jay's occasional tantrums make our day

Pepe's Lucena-accent charms our night

And try not to find where Athley is…

He’s probably asleep somewhere here

And when the animator king joins our team

Make way cause Rod is here…

And there it goes the royal jugglers

Chase chase before Jose and Ferdz drinks their shot

Misch will curse the envious

While NAVCC’s came flying away from Anjsh

Now the end is near…

Shut your ears… coz Gerard will sing…

Now we are apart and distance might ruin us

Keep in mind the bond we had

Note this line coz I might not recur

Uwi na kayo… kailangan namin kayo dito sila hindi…

Internal Renovation

Para akong kumakausap sa pader kapag sinasabihan kita… Makinig ka naman. Hindi ka kasi marunong makinig eh… -the crimson_abstract

The very same friend who taught me that the trick is to not care had just loosen up his nuts and pour out all of his emotion (which I thought he wasn’t designed to have one) most of it was anger last week. It’s been five days of never ending talk about how I continue to dismantle the whole idea of morality and adultery in my life. It was a whole week of brutal conversation of how I continue to disrespect my values and myself. No holds barred. All cards out. No hard feelings. In the end, I accepted…. I was wrong.

“I always forget how to become a rational human being whenever I am with him… I can’t help it! He brings out the devil in me….”

Like any other normal conversation we had for the past three years of friendship. That particular conversation became bizarre however it was expected nevertheless it wasn’t worthless. The issue wasn’t new at all. It was the very same dilemma that I ran away from two years ago. Now, my worst fear had just immersed from reality. And to make it worst, I dug it too deep that is why my nose is in shit now.

But this time… I was forced to listen because I demand for changes and serenity. Yes! I myself wanted to refurnished my shiteous condition and ask for my friend’s opinion on how to start anew. Now the letting go and moving on period is slowly taking in place. The re-installment of values insinuated to me will come next. The renovation of my shattered self will follow. I bet to myself… in six months, I will reborn as a new person, physically, emotionally and mentally.

This is not a matter of choice. I let my heart lead the way but I got lost. Now my brain has to take over to take me back to the right path. It’s now… or never.

Old Good Times...

I’ve been checking the old files waaay back in time when I am still earning my cash as a full time filth writer. I came across an old post from my Babe’s multiply site. At 3 am I am laughing like a hyena while reading it.

When: 3 years ago (2006)

Where: Iwebmasters 5^th Floor Tycoon Building

What: Kalokohan ng mga Puge

Read and laugh with me….

****

This is Riki's Idea dahil sa blog ni hannah - http://eveangel20.multiply.com/journal/item/41/Re-mumbling_of_thoughts_bloopers_and_craps

Part 1 - First Impression from Webdate team

Benny!: akala ko matino, pero may topak pala.

Benny!: as in, TOPAK pare...

anjsh lacanlale: yun lang?

Benny!: ah mahaba ba dapat? teka...

anjsh lacanlale: para mas masaya

Benny!: akala ko matino si hannah, kasi pagkatapos magtrabaho, aayusin niya yung friendster nya. pero hindiiiiiii...nalaman ko na lang tumatawa siya mag-isa ng walang dahilan, nangangagat ng braso, bigla na lang kakanta at sasayaw. astig...

Benny!: ok na?

anjsh lacanlale: amf muntik na ko mabulunan sa iniinom kong kape na walang lasa

Benny!: naku sory naman.

Benny!: baguhin ko kung gusto mo.

anjsh lacanlale: ok na yan

Benny!: yaaaaan...

******************************

Rene Cruz: ummm... nung una ko siyang nakilala tahimik lang siya e.

Rene Cruz: parang mature ba.

Rene Cruz: mali ako.

anjsh lacanlale: lahat pde sabihin

Rene Cruz: ha?

anjsh lacanlale: wala ka na idadagdag??

Rene Cruz: yun lang yung first impression ko e.

Rene Cruz: para saan yan?

anjsh lacanlale: blog collections of first impression kay hannah

anjsh lacanlale: idea ni riki

Rene Cruz: ah.

anjsh lacanlale: dahil dun sa sinulat nya

Rene Cruz: oo nga, nabasa ko rin

******************************

Gil-iWeb: I thought she was already 29 years old when I first saw her, lo and behold mas matanda pa pala ako sa kanya hehehe. ; )

******************************

Renzy-iWeb: hannah - she looks gregarious

******************************

Rhae-iWeb: isa siyang drama queen

******************************

Paeng(ster)-iWeb: hannah: kwela ang first impression ko eh. tapos bigla akong nakwentuhan tungkol sa lovelife... since then naging emo na tingin ko... eh mali nanaman... praning lang pala talaga... hahahaha

******************************

pbalingit: maingay

anjsh lacanlale: wala na??

anjsh lacanlale: kahit ano pde sabihin

pbalingit: ano to survey???

pbalingit: wait lang

anjsh lacanlale: collections of first impression kay hannah

pbalingit: actually yung totoong first impression ko sa kanya suplada at maarte

anjsh lacanlale: haha lagot ka!

pbalingit: eh yun talaga eh...

anjsh lacanlale: haha

anjsh lacanlale: ok ty

******************************

tinalee3383 : Eto na nga eh! paki-cpoy paste na lang kung ila-live ha?

When she came in the first thing I thought was, hhmmmm bihis na bihis (She's wearing a baby tee, a fluffy skirt, full make-up, and you can smell her from a mile away) at tahimik. She smiled and I don't remember kung we were introduced by one of the guys all I know is that lima lang kami nun. Hannah, Gil, ako, Benny and Paeng. Tahimik, I kept thinking of a very good ice breaker so she wouldn't feel out-of-place or something. I looked at her (she was sitting beside me) said "nyar,nyar" to make her loosen up a bit

Then yung ngang nagkakape ko wala akong stirrer, so I used my G-Tec pen and said "Hannah, don't judge me for this ha"

What I found out is then are:You are a great friend, a good person, may be a little naive but a cool girl to hang out with. And a great comedian pa!

I kept thinking about this little banter we had a long time ago. I was thinking of making a blog about it two nights ago but I think it's better kung dito ko na lang muna unang sasabihin. Eto yun:

Tina: May lisp ka no?
Hannah: Lisp?
Tina: Sabihin mo nga Ess?
Hannah: Essth
Tina: Yun, meron
Hannah: Huh? (looked confused) Essth? Wala kaya akong lisp!
Tina: Tanga meron
Hannah: Wala kaya!
Tina: Ay, putangina ang kulet! Kung wala kang lisp, sabihin mo mga "She sells seashells by the sea shore"?!
(5 seconds of silence)

Hannah: Ayoko nga di ko kaya.
(Laughter)
Tina: Lisp, pare. Lisp.

Anyways, of all the girls na umalis I think si Hannah ang pinaka-nalungkot ako. She knows it too. Hay, I miss you pa rin ng malufet. Malulungkot ako kasi aalis na rin yung isa pa jan, hmft. Things will never been the same again. And I mean it when I say, thanks :D I Love you po! Muah!

So itoh lang nakuha ko from webdate team.

Collections of First Impression - Part 2 - iWeb ofismates

anjsh lacanlale: kilala mo si hannah di ba?? ano first impression mo sa kanya?

Japol 69: ?

anjsh lacanlale: gagawa lang ako ng blog. idea ni riki to

anjsh lacanlale: dahil dun sa ginawang blog ni hannah

Japol 69: asan?

anjsh lacanlale: may multiply ka ba dyan?

Japol 69: uu... my proxy ako eh proxy

anjsh lacanlale: http://eveangel20.multiply.com/journal/item/41/Re-mumbling_of_thoughts_bloopers_and_craps

Japol 69: haha

Japol 69: naisip ko na naiisip no ricky

anjsh lacanlale: ayan kaya naisipan ni riki mangolekta ng first impression natin kay hanah

anjsh lacanlale: kasi naalala nya yung unang sinabi ni onat nung nasa antel palang tayo

Japol 69: ?

anjsh lacanlale: yung nakasuot si hannah ng mini skirt saka naka leggings at chucks

Japol 69: haha.. potek... naalala ko yun..

anjsh lacanlale: sabi ni onat bibigyan nya daw ng heels si hannah

Japol 69: ayoko magsalita ng masama sa kanya. di kme close eh

anjsh lacanlale: hahaha

anjsh lacanlale: ok lang wala na sya dito

anjsh lacanlale: saka di sya magagalit

Japol 69: kila lui, lou, noel ka magtanong... nakow!

Japol 69: dame sasabihin non

anjsh lacanlale: kasi wala ng lalala sa comment ni rikki

Japol 69: anu ba comment nya?

anjsh lacanlale: wala pa.

anjsh lacanlale: pero expected na nya na comment ni rikki pinaka malala

Japol 69: haha... hmmm.. sabay sila pauwi di ba?

anjsh lacanlale: uu

Japol 69: siguro enjoy sya everytime na naka skirt si hanah at sumabay sa kanya

Japol 69: haha

anjsh lacanlale: kayo ha may secret kayo!

Japol 69: haha

***************************************************

anjsh lacanlale: knock knock

r buigsRica Espiritu: ya?

anjsh lacanlale: ano first impression mo kay hannah?

r buigsRica Espiritu: huh?

r buigsRica Espiritu: why?

anjsh lacanlale: http://anjsh.multiply.com/journal/item/8/Collections_of_First_Impression_-_Part_1

r buigsRica Espiritu: langya....survey ba....lol

r buigsRica Espiritu: ano yan...parte ng census?

r buigsRica Espiritu: paano yan? ala akong impression kay hannah

anjsh lacanlale: hahaha

anjsh lacanlale: nung first time mo sya makatabi sa antel

r buigsRica Espiritu: er.........tahimik....

anjsh lacanlale: hehe dahil pareho kaung may nararamdaman sa pwesto nyo

r buigsRica Espiritu: hanggang ngayon naman tahimik e....pag wala si hannah

r buigsRica Espiritu: hehehehehehehe malay ko ba na sensitive sya noh

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anjsh lacanlale: ano first impression mo kay hannah?

iLa brady: makulit, madaldal

anjsh lacanlale: hehe

anjsh lacanlale: ty

iLa brady: np

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anjsh lacanlale: oist

anjsh lacanlale: ano first impression mo kay hannah?

zac_wolf: ye

zac_wolf: bata

anjsh lacanlale: hehe

anjsh lacanlale: si louie tanong mo

anjsh lacanlale: http://anjsh.multiply.com/journal/item/8/Collections_of_First_Impression_-_Part_1

zac_wolf: first impression...wala...basta isinayaw ko lang sya sa dance floor..tuwang tuwa naman ang loka...ndi ko matandaan kung yun ang unang kita ko kay hannah...lam ko ndi...sure akong ndi ko lang sya dun unang nakita...

anjsh lacanlale: sau ba galing yan??

zac_wolf: uu

anjsh lacanlale: si louie ask mo rin

zac_wolf: 'matabait?!' daw

zac_wolf: aus?

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anjsh lacanlale: ano first impression mo kay hannah?

dong soleta: ...?

dong soleta: cOol

anjsh lacanlale: ok. ty

dong soleta: hehe

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BluewireAngie (5:10 AM): ano first impression mo kay hannah?

calvo (5:14 AM): matino kausap. may pagka-isnabera.

BluewireAngie (5:15 AM): naks!

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BluewireAngie (1:19 AM): ano na first impression mo kay hannah?

Brandon (4:40 AM): friendly?

BluewireAngie (4:40 AM): bat may question mark?

Brandon (4:41 AM): ah ok friendly

BluewireAngie (4:41 AM): hehe

BluewireAngie (4:41 AM): ty

Collections of First Impression - Part 3 - Tropang PUGE

Itoh na ang malalang Impression!

anjsh lacanlale: ano maibibigay mong first impression kay hannah??

athley glori: cool saka game sa lahat ng gimik

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Rodolfo Tinapay: mabait

anjsh lacanlale: play safe?

Rodolfo Tinapay: di nga

Rodolfo Tinapay: totoo

Rodolfo Tinapay: sabhin mo akala ko dati hr cya

Rodolfo Tinapay: ng iweb

anjsh lacanlale: hehe.. ok

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Jeff Forneste: mamuy

anjsh lacanlale: amfff

Jeff Forneste: wla wla ako impression

Jeff Forneste: suplado ako eh

anjsh lacanlale: ang arte mo ha

Jeff Forneste: wla nga.. dko kya pnpansin un

Jeff Forneste: nging tropa lng

anjsh lacanlale: bilis na

Jeff Forneste: aba wla nga

anjsh lacanlale: fine

*************************************

jay_acab: baboy

anjsh lacanlale: talagang ganun?

jay_acab: joke lng kanina pa ko kinukulit nyan eh

anjsh lacanlale: hahaha

anjsh lacanlale: bilis na..

jay_acab: sexy. joke

anjsh lacanlale: idea ni riki to pang sagot dun sa blog na sinulat nya

jay_acab: hog cholera

anjsh lacanlale: amfff

anjsh lacanlale: first impression tinatanong ko

anjsh lacanlale: http://eveangel20.multiply.com/journal

anjsh lacanlale: Sino ang pikon amfff

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anjsh lacanlale: ano na first impresssion mo kay hannah?

Ricky: jolinang mataba

Ricky: hehehe

Ricky: ang weird kc ng porma

Ricky: hehehe

Ricky: tska mukhang matrona,wehehehe

anjsh lacanlale: amff

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anjsh lacanlale: gising

anjsh lacanlale: ano first impression mo kay hannah

BUZZ!!!

Jay Lastname: cute

Jay Lastname: lmao

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anjsh lacanlale: JOSE

JoSe Ramilo: angelita!!!

anjsh lacanlale: ano first impression mo kay hannah?

JoSe Ramilo: matakaw??

JoSe Ramilo: hehe

anjsh lacanlale: amf wala talaga kayo matinong sagot

JoSe Ramilo: hehe..

JoSe Ramilo: bkit survery ba to?

anjsh lacanlale: uu

anjsh lacanlale: para sa blog

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anjsh lacanlale: birthday boy
anjsh lacanlale: wala ka pa first impression kay hannah
Toby: no un?
Toby: aw
Toby: janice de belen
anjsh lacanlale: amfness

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anjsh lacanlale: batang may sakit
anjsh lacanlale: ano first impression mo kay hannah??
ferdz Palaspas: hirap nman ng tnong mo,d ako makapg-icip ngyun
ferdz Palaspas: hehehe,juke lang
ferdz Palaspas: dali,icipin ko kung anong first impression ko sa knya
anjsh lacanlale: bilis na ng makapagpost na ko
ferdz Palaspas: ako n lang inaantay mo?
ferdz Palaspas: hehe
anjsh lacanlale: uu
ferdz Palaspas: naalala ko n.. "bat d p siya bumili ng bago nyang damit?sikip n ng mga damit nya e,hehe"

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Si misch nalang wala saka si Eg. Busy daw kasi si eg sa pag drive.

Ako first Impression ko kay hannah pag pasok ko ng pinto sa Antel "ei may bago girl sa ofis at ang agang pumasok (nung mga panahong yun, ako, si misch, si rica, at ms.lhen lang ang babae sa pwesto namin)". "Ayos pumorma - kung kay riki pa jolina". "Sobrang tahimik sa pwesto nya - buti nalang naisipan ni eg na yayain mag break kaya naging tropa na." At ng medyo tumagal na nalaman na namin na sya ang nawawala kong kapatid...hahaha... parehong mahilig sa bag at sapatos kaya di kami pde pumunta ng mall ng madaming pera.

Shit... I Did It Again...

I am a fool.

My first statement is just a meek admission of how I perfectly accept the fact that I am an inch close to another shitty hell of a life. It was just one time that I completely forgot about how I should think straight and be good. But hell yes… every minute worth all the time I could probably spend in Satan’s den.

I pierced my tongue.

That’s how my heart rolls for him. It was so wrong and enjoying the feeling makes it so damn immoral. I accepted the pain reminding myself that it should have never happen. Some months ago, same thing happen. I etched his name on my wrist while masticating the whole idea of bizarre profession of love… err or should I really called it love? I don’t give a fuck… The feeling is wonderful but at the same time exhausting. It was scary yet I am hooked. It wasn’t love… It was just now that I become sure of it. It was hazy and vague feeling that no philosophers or experts dared to invent a term. And yet again, I don’t care. He was like my calming pill… prohibited but addictive. He was like my metal piercing, painful but all worth it.

How Tagaytay healed my throbbing heart.

He knew it. I am sure that I am giving him the right signal. I wanted to see him and hug him close before he storms out of my life. It never happened. It wasn’t the right moment I am dreaming of. It became an awkward exchange of glances and monotonous conversation. It wasn’t our moment. It was a normal goodbye, the way it should be. I closed my door and let my warm teardrops reach my lips. I was sobbing like nuts. It wasn’t yet another perfect moment. I let the numbness overcome my sanity. My friends were all there to help me survive the twinge. We drive and drive till I stop crying. I opened my windows… I can see nothing but darkness and cliff. No lights, narrow road, trees, mountains and silence. We’re lost.

That moment, I came back. I became human again and felt scared. My heart is aching but I don’t want to die, I blurted out. Where the hell are we? Combined instinct, prayers and hope, we found our spot. The place I always wanted to go whenever I want to carve a smile on my face… Tagaytay!

Breezy and cold but the place was silent and calm. I am with the two best people in the world. We spend the night in a private rest house that we rented, munching coco puffs and Bear Brand. The horrid night became another perfect night for us.

I now reach another ending…. Close curtain for the second act.

On Quitting Jobhen

Ang hirap nyang timplahin. Hindi ko alam kung ayos lang ba dito na kasama nya ako o hinde. Masyado ko lang bang nilalagyan ng matinding pressure ang sarili ko tuwing kasama ko sya. Nagpapanggap ako to be someone I am not. Wala na kaming mapagusapan. Halatang wala na syang masabi or makuwento. Hindi rin ako makapag bring up ng topic dahil baka hindi lang nya magustuhan. I think I am giving too much effort into something i shouldn't have done in the first place. Lakas na talaga ng pakiramdam ko na hindi na nya ako gustong kasama at nabobored na talaga sya. Or baka inaatake lang ako ng insecurities ko at i am just jumping into conclusion. taena... the situation is getting worse every minute. I couldn't even grasp what's happening. eto na, nahulog na ako. nag give in na ako sa gusto ng puso ko. I think it's about time to let my brains take over. I have to come back to my senses. this isn't worth it.

Bulleted Thoughts

I’ve been staring on this blank sheet for almost three days and I still can’t figure out how I’m going to start this entry. To start off, I’ve got nothing to say… or I am just so fucking tired right now because I can’t even think of something nice to write about.

All the ideas I have for this blog are swirling like a haze inside my head. So, instead of making an actual entry – paragraphs and all – that I usually do… I’ll have it bulleted just for the sake of posting something here.

Ø To Leave or Not To Leave

I’ve been staying here in this “sweatshop” for almost 10 months and I am getting closer to my first year anniversary. I have nothing against the company though some of the people here are not the nicest person in the world… but I really don’t give a fuck. The mere presence of a particular douchebag co-worker plus the coming of the Digital Gay Dream is like a happy pill for my every day routine. And of course, the torture of leaving my "heart" in this cubicleville makes me want to shiver and locked my feet. It’s a tough call seriously… it’s a choice between what you want and what you need. Again, another reason why I don’t want to be emotionally attached with anyone in my office because of things like this.

Ø The Japanese Invasion

After 3 long years, they came back. The only cousin whom I considered the loveliest person on Earth took a 5 day vacation here in the Pearl of the Orient. Despite of the communication barrier (since she only speaks Nihonggo), we were able to understand each other. I know… It’s really weird considering we don’t speak the same language. I only knew a few words but we could talk all day and all night. The abundance of food during her stay compensated the lack of sleep. We were literally bombarded with lots and lots…and lots of food. I gain an unbelievable amount of weight in 3 days. Now, I am killing myself just to burn all those fats away. In the end… everything went exactly the way we planned it. Except… she doesn’t like Jobhen! Hahahaha!!!

Ø The whip of Jobhen

I am an inch close from getting my ass screwed. I know that day will come soon. And if that day comes, I’ll be dead.

Ø If only I could turn back time…

I felt so sad for losing a friend over some stupid prank that I did some weeks ago. I thought it was funny but apparently it wasn’t. He got pissed and refused to accept my apology. Now, I am doing my best effort to win him back but it’s not working. As much as I wanted to talk to him and tell him how much I miss his company… he already close his doors and end our friendship. I felt awful and tormented. I wish I didn’t pull that joke. But it’s too late… So just in case you found this entry… I am really really sorry Ronald. Seriously, life is much better if we could be friends again. So I hope one day, you’ll find in your heart to accept my apology.

When You Found Yourself Craving for Sleep

“Hindi ka makatulog, hindi ka makakain, lagi kang tulala… sa amin ang tawag dyan ay adik…” – Paeng

Last Saturday and Sunday was peculiar and outlandish. I actually knew what went wrong but the thing was I can’t accept that I am really falling for it… not again! It wasn’t even real, it wasn’t even anything passionate and hell fucks it wasn’t even worth it. I am being vague here but as much as I wanted to re-tell the whole shit thing out… I don’t even know how to start.

After this entire schiz even existed in my system, I was a lousy fucktard every morning. I always struggle when waking up to start another day in my daily job. It’s not that I am not fond of earning money; I just love spending inevitable amount of time in bed.

Now, I am agitated every sunrise to wake up and glam up only to torture myself from watching an excruciating view that never fails to ruin my entire day. Every morning, I am half expecting that it will be different but nevertheless it’s not. I am stuck in the corner, polluting my lungs with nicotine and wondering how I will incarcerate all the angry thoughts in my nuts. At the end of the day, I am craving for alcohol to help in fooling myself that tomorrow will be another day. And just recently, I am back to my calming pills. Bad or worst, I don’t effin know!

It’s been two weeks of non-stop alcohol consumption. I am back to my old self… the same person who was shattered and molested by the never ending blows of shit-life drama. But this time, I am much stronger and wiser not to give too much emphasis on that particular portion in my life.

This is the first time I am gonna admit this thing… I am falling in love. Damn it! No matter how hard I try not to feel this stupid shit anymore… it’s not working. And what made it worst was, every day it gets deeper and deeper. He doesn’t know and he doesn’t have to know. I intend to keep it forever till it fades. What we have right now is a flourishing friendship and I want to keep it that way. There is no room for any fucktarded conflict or issues in my system right now. I am currently enjoying the freedom in my hands… and yeah that’s it!

BEER-OH-RAMA to Cure a Broken Soul

“The bottle is bringing me down… No comfort for me in this town…”

When life sucks you dry all you need is one single day of total numbness and detachment from the real world. When your whole world is falling apart and the only reason you are still alive because your time isn’t over yet. And no matter how you convince yourself that things will get better soon… You’ll get tired eventually.

Weekends for me became a never ending quest to make my life at least a bit exciting and fun. It was getting hotter and humid as the days passed by and I am sweating like a pig… itz so disgusting!

Anyway…

Lately, I’ve been indulging myself with another ultimate nonsense that makes me crazier than my normal abnormal state. I am digging another inevitable grave and I know I am bound to commit another stupid stint that I will regret after. This whole freedom thing for me had gone from a pathetic moving on drama to intolerable dim-witted antics. Having too much freedom is in deed a tough cookie. I can almost feel my conscience walking away from me. Tasting my own vomit every other day due to excessive intake of alcohol or having bad migraine from sleeping 10 minutes a day became a daily unfortunate hobby. I don’t want to fathom neither cherish that kind of moment but what makes it pleasurable is the fact that I can feel a bit amount of joy amidst my daily doze of domestic drama. I know what I am dealing at this moment isn’t that bad as compare to other people. But I think I deserved to have this little space in the internet to post my online whining so I could at least shed out some negative vibes in my system.

I am broke!

For the longest time in my corporate life, I’ve been experiencing financial shortage each time I am going through any emotional catastrophe. This month had been awfully bad that explains why my bank account is drying like the Sahara. I need a second job so I could at least save my ass from economic drowning.

I uploaded a new theme for my site... tweaked the banner with my portable CS4 and boilah!!! It looks shitter than ever…

All Shit Comes in Different Faces

Summer is not yet over but it’s fucking raining outside. Pacqiaou won against Hatton and the whole world is celebrating. Politicians are all getting started with their campaigns. Swine flu or H1V1 virus already hit the Philippines. Martin Nieverra was getting sued because he RNBnized the Philippine national anthem. Alec Baldwin wanted a Filipino mail order bride. And just recently, South Koreans cloned 4 dogs and put fluorescent genes on them to make them glow in the dark.

And I am still here… stuck in my own made stink hole.

“I know it’s over—still I cling”

Some weeks ago, I was so certain that I have made the right decision. But now, I am confused. Everyone gave the exact same comment. It’s as if I am the dumbest person in the world. Now I don’t know what to do. I am doing well as of now; it’s not that I am not hurting anymore… I am just feeling the freedom in my hand. But that freedom had given me too much twinge and heaviness.

Yet, I know I quit because I need to do so. I need to find some pieces of my broken self. I need to find my lost soul so I could be happy again. I was so certain that even though it was my fault because I ended it, I shouldn’t be blamed because I did the right thing for us. Yet, I am still the bad guy.

It was just me who face the truth that there was something wrong with us. And it was so painful everyday seeing myself stuck in that tormenting situation. I felt that I have to do something. I have to lift one finger to let the other person know that we were not growing anymore.

I was on the verge of undoing my mistakes with him when another mother effin issue stormed my life. It’s like another melodramatic incident that makes my life more miserable and humiliating. It was a non-stop drama about money, infidelity and morality. It’s a never-ending argument between two people who have committed odd behavior and now it’s all coming back like some stupid revenge. As much as I don’t want to deal with this schiz anymore, I have no choice. So I found myself stuck in a very awkward situation and from that moment, I already accepted the fact that I am gonna be trap with them… FOREVER!

“Life is like the Webdate Team, it can never be serious”

My weekend wasn’t boring for a change. I spent the whole time mingling with old and new peepz.

I was with the Webdate gang last Saturday. After several months of being an invisible friend to them, I find it very important to show up this time. We all came by and pay our respect to Paeng’s father who passed away just recently. I know we couldn’t do anything to ease his throbbing soul but at least we made him smile that night. It wasn’t the typical gang making fun of everything. We were all laughing but at the same time we knew that there was still heaviness beneath our giggles because even if death is inevitable, it is still painful.

“WE WORK HARD… WE PARTY HARDER”

Right after that, I went straight to Iweb’s Party at Watering Hole. I kind of gate crash the shindig since I am no longer listed in their payroll but Iweb gave me the warmest welcome (like they always do) for visiting them. To make the long story short, free booze, party people and cool music equals all out fun. I can’t help but to admit that I really do miss these people and if destiny permits I would still want to come back and

work with them again. And for the highlight of this event, after all the bashing and exchange of angry remarks, the “project manager” and I ended our fight. A shot of Black Label and Strawberry Vodka made me say this line, “Taena, kalimutan na natin yun tagal na yun eh”.

I boozed myself too much that is why I ended up puking my entire digestive system out all night. The following day for me was excruciating because I was drunk and yet I have to wake my ass up to entertain the big bro’s French client and friends. It was really exhausting and I can almost feel my physical body slowly detaching from reality. But the food was great… at least I had a little consuelo from it.

And now, I am back here in my cubicle waiting for my normal body parts to arrive.

Thoughts...

5 Minutes

Reminiscing the times I am still with you:

I love the way you hold my hands
Even after you made me cry
I love the way you kissed me goodnight
After a long and weary fight
You can carved a frown on my face
Then put a smile back in place
You can break my heart on Monday
and make it up on Tuesday
I am not afraid to close my eyes
when moonlight reaches the skies
For I know you are just there
Loving me even better
I gave my whole life to you
waiting for the moment to say.. "I DO"
Meaningless to say I LOVE YOU
if you won't be here to say I LOVE YOU TOO...

There's No Use Crying Over Spilled Milk...

A very close friend told me when I told him about what happen…

Mourning is over… must move on.

Sometimes when you are struggling to find your happiness that is where shit happens. Everything will come stumbling down in front of your sorry ass and the only thing left to you is a broken heart and a broken dreams. After investing into something you thought deeper you’ll soon realize that there are more to learn and more to accept. It’s a never ending process that you’ll need to tolerate to make things last.

I am being profound because I don’t know… maybe I am thinking straight and I need to fuck this thing out of my system.

This week wasn’t usual. It wasn’t even fun or exciting. It’s a time of grief, broken pieces and shredded heart. It marked the end of a dreary past and a start of a new life. New look, new haircut and more positive outlook in life, more beers, less sleep and tons of trips, my own personal ingredient to cure my broken heart.

Old company, old people but new friends.

It’s not too late to show them that I am a jolly person and not the retard slut in the corner. I can crack jokes, quench beers and smoke. I can be a friend and not just a co-worker. I can be a normal human being… the way I used to be.

I learned a lot of things in the past; from there I will start this new phase in life with much courage and strength to face the real world. I MIGHT fall for another trap or do something STUPID in the future but I know that it will end soon because in this world, even good things never last.

Lesson learned…

Life time commitment isn’t my thing. (EMO ALERT!!!) No matter how perfect it may be, I can always find a tiny hole to screw it off. It’s not that I can not give love; I don’t deserve to be loved by anyone. (slitting my wrist while typing this line)

Sometimes, investing your feelings to another human being comes in a much disoriented way. Because no matter how you tried making it work… one day you’ll wake up the love you have is already gone.

So cheers to the new life ahead of me…

Summer Get Away!!!

eto lang ang masasabi ko after our Ilocos trip... BABALIK AKO!!!

Burning Bridges

DISCLAIMER: This is a very disturbing entry. It’s full of anger and disappointment. So for those who are involved, I don’t ask for your sympathy… I NEED YOUR APOLOGY because I deserve one…

This marks the end of my noble and humbling service for my high school old buddies. I volunteered to organize a shitful reunion shindig for my co-alumni in Baste. I thought I was doing it all right and I have everyone supporting my back… turned out, it was just a big joke and everyone was laughing except me.

I knew it wasn’t that easy reuniting old peepz from different parts of the Philippines but I am kind of hopeful that we all share the same sentiments like missing the old things we used to do. I HAD IT ALL WRONG! The planning stage was undeniably sweet. It was really really fun and everyone was doing their own share of ideas and comments. But as we get closer to the date… each one of them were popping like bubbles and magically vanished in to thin air.

I got so pissed that pushed me to send away angry text messages to everyone stating that the event

[caption id="attachment_101" align="alignright" width="400" caption="thou shall not kill... but i have to!"][/caption]

was cancelled. I am tired of begging for their presence and planning this whole damn thing by myself. Nobody cares, so I should not care too… royt! It’s not as if they are paying me for doing this shiteous labor. And if ever they will, they can never afford it. I have tons of important things to do. They are all lining up in my bucket list and I should deal with these instead of this reunion-crap. I know I am sounding like a melodramatic bitch but all of you should at least have a single care because… for once we became part of each others life. At least, recognize the effort and try not to be as fucktard people as you all are now.

I know I am burning bridges just by typing away these words… and I am not referring to the entire U-PACS group. You know who you are and I say this clearly… YOU SHOULDN’T BACK AWAY WHEN YOU SAID THAT YOU ARE COMING because naturally we are counting on you. Cancelling at the last minute is so fuckin work of a retard.

And there’s another person involved in the planning who got his ass screwed because some of you decided not to cooperate. I felt sorry for this dude because he was forced to pay the resort’s reservation fee. I don’t know what happen next but I am sure he is effed up too. I am sorry Ed…

I probably had the worst reputation in our batch and I know everyone considered it as a fact. And now, I am embracing that image whole heartedly without thinking twice. You may dislike me and I don’t give an effin fuck to care. Pero kayo ang nang-iiwan sa ere, so you are no better than I am. I organized this thing to help rejuvenate our friendship because I thought we share the same feelings. But now, I think there’s really no friendship to revive at all.

But anyway, there are few people… the old people I always count on to. My BBRC group who never let me down decided to refurnished the old plan and decided to washed away all of the negatives vibes by traveling up north.

So as my stat message says, PAGUDPUD HERE WE COME!!!

that's the way it is... but I am pissed!

Say it’s true; the only constant in life is change. I was too jaded for planning a meeting for my High School reunion last weekend. Gathering them up together was totally the stupidest thing I ever volunteered to do. It was a total pain in the ass move but don’t get me wrong but planning this event was really really not that easy. I bet the first group who had the same advocacy as moi had just given up for this particular reason.

Anyhow, I swear to my life I won’t give up till last Saturday. It was just an honest to goodness speculation I had came across to but I think… having this reunion is nothing but a stinky bull crap. Why? Last weekend, I spent most of my time calling everyone, posting in every social network in the World Wide Web I could manage and sending away e-mail messages to all of them. I scheduled a meet-up for all of us so we could all agree upon the said reunion thing. We could brainstorm ideas and we could arrange our schedules that will suit every body. Out of forty people, only seven of us managed to show up.

NOW WHAT AM I THINKING??? Only few people in the world should care about this event yet there are only seven of us who really show the support and will to participate. It was just one heck of a meeting in Manila what else more if we scheduled it on a very far away province. It’s like an hour travel but only seven people managed to effin CARE! I am uttermost disappointed and what made it worst was I can’t blame anyone. Maybe because we have to accept that we are no longer kids anymore. We are no longer part of any high school hype shits that we used to be part of when we were younger. And most of all, we all now have different lives and most of us have moved on to the kiddy stuffs we used to enjoy with.

Most of them responded like they are so busy and they have tons of other lives to dwell on to. Let me say my piece: I ditched work, I came straight from the hospital, I don’t have enough sleep, I talked to people I don’t want to talk to, I wracked up my phone bill to the highest limit and I waited looooong hours JUST TO HAVE THIS EVENT WORK!

Surely, I am pissed! I can’t deny that fact but what else can I do? That’s the way it is. Now, who ever reads this… might not understand or will probably be offended on what I have written in this entry. But you can’t blame me for feeling this way because I also sacrifice some things in my everyday life and sure those seven people too but the question is… WHY CAN’T YOU?

03.05.08

I know this could be a bit gross but I actually had a realization yesterday while I was taking a shower. Well, we all kind of accepted that bathrooms are usually some sort of a conscience or thinking chamber where you can just soap your back and think of any random facts about your life. Well, that’s what happened to me last night.

Yesterday was a bit odd in the house. I just don’t want to go on the details but everybody was all effed up and yelling and cursing like shit in a pie hole. I wasn’t cool about it so I just locked myself in the bathroom and have my own moment.

Ten years ago, I have a girl best friend. Let’s name her B. We spend lot of times together and share the best high school days together. We were inseparable and despite of the shitty shortcomings that both our families were going on through, we managed to get away with it… fashionably. Yes, both of us were known as the fashion geeks. We know everything about make-ups, coolest get up and latest trends. We go to the mall as often as we change our underwear and we sing praises to all SALE announcements as loud as we sing at the chapel. But most of all, we stick together like a gum when things are getting rough and difficult.

“You are the greatest gift that I ever have”

Way back to that days, I dreamed of something really strange. It wasn’t actually a nightmare but it was too creepy. The setting was old Japanese Era; I am in a battle tank with B and another guy friend. We are dress up like guerillas and it’s a little obvious that we are going in a combat. I looked up at the driver’s seat and saw B’s dead grandfather driving the vehicle. “What the fuck!” Then everything went black. The next vision was the San Sebastian Church, I was holding a flower in my left hand and another friend was holding my other hand. We went inside the church and pray. Just as I am about to bow my head to pray, the lights turn off and I couldn’t see anything. I whispered to my friend, “Ok lang yan… nandito lang ako. Itong flower, ibibigay ko sa iyo ito para ipakita ko kung gaano kaimportante ang friendship natin” When that friend of mine accepted the flower, the lights went on again and I saw the person I am giving the flower with. It wasn’t the guy I am holding before the lights went off. It was her, it was B.

I woke up feeling dizzy about what I saw in my dream but I just ignored it thinking that it was just another irrelevant works of my subconscious mind. Months passed, we are getting closer and closer to our graduation day. B and I were planning so many things that we wanted to do in college. But one day, something weird happened. I was in my house munching foods while watching TV, B and that guy friend from the dream arrived at my crib. I wasn’t surprise because we often hang out like that. But when she told me that she has something to say and her face went serious and her eyebrow twitched… I felt weird.

We are kind of going out…Medyo matagal na…

That was the breaking news. She took it off so seriously and I thought it was HIGHlarious. I already knew that the guy has the hots for my best friend and when I told her about that she went ballistic and saying things like… EEEWWW! So when I found out that they finally end up together, it was just too funny for me. But of course, if that is the way she wanted to spend her life with, I am just a friend, so ready to support her.

But something was effed up. The guy didn’t get the part that I am actually cool with them sneaked behind my back for the sake of love. So our friendship started to get messed up. Then one fine day, I received a called from B’s mom, “You see, by any chances, can you tell your friend to break up with that boy”. Of course, I can’t do that. I don’t want to be the selfish bitch wrecking up a relationship. I said, “ All I want is the best for my best friend and seeing her happy with that boy makes my dream come true. I am just a friend, all I can do is to support her and be at her back. I can’t run her life… I am sorry I can’t help you…”

I thought it was one of the few nicest things I did in my life. Turns out it was just a full swing in the wind. They were really serious in missing the part that I am cool with their relationship and stick with the idea that I am the bad guy. So I felt that I am being watched for every move I do or any thing that I say. And I knew, B is not strong enough to handle such tough situation. So that’s it. I distanced myself with them and pretended to be busy. The tiny wrecked in our friendship becomes a humungous crap. We never had the chance to talk about it. It’s like everything is understood. It’s a choice between love and friendship and most likely, friendship are gonna suffer.

And that is when I finally deciphered the meaning of my dream. B and I will gonna face our own battle and the price to pay is our friendship; But because the one who’s driving the vehicle have already passed away… means that this battle will be our death; the death of friendship. The vision in the church symbolizes that in bright times I have random people beside me but in time of darkness I am holding on to only one hand… B.

Up to now things are still screwed. But they are still together and happy. And B’s mom accepted the reality that her daughter loves that boy. And up until now, B and I are still on the sinking ship… almost drowning. It is really awkward every time I bump into her and we talk as if we are a total stranger. There’s an uncanny feelings between us that never stops every time we try making things alright. Then maybe it is just reality that smacking my face that things are not going to go back the way it was.

I just missed her… my best friend because if only things are ok, she should be the one who was there when I heard about my family situation. She should be the one who’s with me when I received my diploma, she should be the one who was with me when I had my first salary… She should be the one who’s with me when my world came stumbling down on me. She should be the one with me when I was still battling against the darkest hours of my life. Without her, I have to fight my battles alone and I have to enjoy some good stuff alone… And I have to live everyday mocking myself that the one I am calling my best friend is just a parody of the real one.

I know it’s over but still I cling… I missed you… B.

A totally HIGHlarious KLUTZY Stunt

Total extreme adventure and romantic schiz… that is how my weekends went on. First off, the boyfriend and I watched an overly cheesy tagalong movie in a movie house. He wasn’t exactly excited about that thing but because I was very persistent in convincing him, he finally said yes. At the movie house, everyone was all feeling the exact emotion I have in mind. Corny and irrelevant??? I don’t give a fuck. I enjoyed the movie because of the unique chemistry of the two lead roles.

You Change My Life is the sequel for A Very Special Love starred by the youngest and the hottest actor and actress in the Philippines. John Lloyd Cruz as Miggi Motenegro and Sarah Geronimo as Laida Magtalas. I can hear the endless giggles and laughter in the crowd. And because it was worth giggling for, I joined in them. The boyfriend was having fun too and even admitted that he cried halfway in the movie. You Change My Life is unique in a special way. It wasn’t the overrated and melodramatic type that most tagalong drama movie always has. It was funny and entertaining. Though the fantasy is inevitable it doesn’t affect the entertainment level at all.

***

My never ending quest to find the most suitable and easy way of losing weight had just gone from plain adventure to extremely dangerous stunt. I don’t know who suggested that I should buy a bike so I could ride on it and sweat like hell while enjoying the goodness of our neighborhood. But whoever thought that, he’s GOOD! That is why I saved money and today I bought one.

Ten years ago, I am a rider kid. Even though I don’t have my own bike, I am not that average rider. I can do simple stunts that most kids can’t do. BUT THAT WAS A DECADE AGO! My skills are now rusty and I am fuckin’ AGING!

But because I am sooooooooooooo excited, my dad and I tested my new ride and we had a father and daughter biking spree. I knew I am doing good… I went faster and faster. I saw a big truck parked in the side road then I saw a man walking beside the truck, I turned left there was a car. I have to keep right but I will hit the man. I am getting closer and I didn’t know what to do. And just like what my old man said, when it rain… it POURS! The chain in my bike loosens, I wiggled, I screamed, I panicked and the next thing I knew… I am flying out from my bike and I landed flat on my ass.

I was just lucky that I didn’t have any bruises or cuts or broken bones (except that my ass really hurts like hell) but that fall wasn’t really FUNNY at all. Everyone who saw my fall approached me. They were asking if I am okey or if I need to go to the hospital. It was painful and EMBARASSING, so I got up and laughed to hide my embarrassment. I looked at my dad, still shocked at what happen. He nearly had a heart attacked so after assuring me that I am in good shape, we went home.

Ending? Cold compress on my ass…

This what happen when BOREDNESS empowered your sanity… Part 4

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="must help me!!!"][/caption]

"Who was the last person you.."

1. had a beer with ?

>>bday ko! sila bentot, renelicious, paengster at bespren

2. went to the movies with ?

>> my Love

3. went to the mall with ?

>> mama ko

4. talked on the phone with ?

>> my Love

5. laughed for?

>> lagi naman ako tumatawa...

6. u hugged ?

>> my Love

7. u yelled at ?

>>si badong... umuutot kasi habang natutulog ang baho na ng room ko

WUD U RATHER...?

1. have a forest on your face or scar

on your legs?

>> pwede wala?

2. be serious or be funny?

>> mixture of both

3. drink whole or skim milk ?

>> bsta milk masarap... *lalo na pag galing sa dede ng cow :D

4. die in a fire or get shot?

>> WALA

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY...

1. sun or moon ?

>> moon

2. winter or fall ?

>> fall

3. left or right ?

>> right

4. sunny or rainy?

>> sunny

5. peach or pear ?

>> Peach

6. do u twirl ur spaghetti or cut

it?

>> twirl

7. do u cook ?

>> yes

8. current mood ?

>> sakto lang

IN THE LAST WEEK HAVE YOU...

1. kissed someone?

>> yes

2. sung ?

>>sa banyo habang naliligo

3. been hugged ?

>> yissss

4. danced crazy ?

>> uu... sa banyo rin habang naliligo

5. cried ?

>> nde nman

This what happen when BOREDNESS empowered your sanity… Part 3

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="376" caption="SAVE ME!!!"][/caption]

Do you swear to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth?

-- err.. yes??

.

Where were you last night?

-- room... sleeping

.

What is today's date?

-- fEbRuary 26

.

Who was the last person to call you

-- my Love

.

When you're at the grocery store do you use the self checkout?

-- nope

.

Anyone crushing on you?

-- why would i know?

.

What is your relationship status?

-- magical

.

Has anyone ever sang to you?

-- wala pa naman

.

Has anyone ever given you roses?

-- yeaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh

.

If you were abandoned in the wilderness, would you survive?

--the thought of pooping without a toilet is the end of the world for me...

.

Who do you text the most?:

-- my Love

.

How do you make your money?

-- i work in a cafe by day, stripper by night and some extra drug dealing from time to time... JOKEEEEEE!!!!!

.

First person to text today?

-- my Love

.

What is your favorite color?

-- black

.

What color are your eyes?

-- dark brown

.

What compliment you receive often?

--you're drop dead gorgeous... very uncommon creature from Mars!

.

How tall are you?:

-- 5'

.

Who was the last person to say they loved you and when?

-- my Love... about an hour ago

.

Do you like your parents?

-- i love them

.

Do you secretly like someone?:

-- hell NO!

.

Why did your last relationship end?

--it ended because... he's a BIG FAT LOSER

.

Who was the last person you said you loved on the phone?

-- my Love

.

Where is the furthest place you've traveled?

--Ilocos Norte Paoay

.

Which do you prefer, to eat or sleep?

-- SLEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!

.

Do you look more like your mom or your dad?

- i don't know... when i was a kid i look like my dad but as i grow older i kinda look like my mom na...

.

How long does it take you to shower?

-- depends... usually around 45 minutes to 1 and a half hour

.

Can you do splits?

-- NO

.

Are you flexible?

-- NO!

.

What did you do on New Years Eve?

-- watched Gossip Girls

.

Was your mom there?

-- she was downstairs

.

Can you speak any other language than English?

-- Tagalog... tsaka Gaynese!

.

What is the last letter of your middle name?

-- M.

.

How many hours of sleep did you get last night?

-- 7 hours

.

Do you wear your seatbelt in the car?:

-- NO

.

Are you scared of flying?

-- YES!

.

What do you sleep in?

-- bed??

.

Who was the last person you kissed?

-- my Love

.

Do you like funny people or serious people?

-- a mixture of both

.

What are you listening to?

--none

.

Do you wear jewelry all the time?

-- my watch, the ring (he gave it to me) and earrings

.

What do you have planned for tonight?

-- sleep.. sleep.. sleep

.

Is the last person you kissed older than you?

-- yup

.

Do you prefer myspace or socialsplash?

-- none...