It’s been a week since the douchebag “gay” co-worker left me in this jungle. And I thought I couldn’t survive a day without someone who could rewire my sanity and tolerate my occasional “blonde moments”. I thought the adjustment period will be so damn tough and I am actually scared of it which to the extent that I don’t want to talk or even think about it. I just let it happen like I don’t give an effin care.
Keeping your existence in this sweatshop is something you couldn’t use to. It’s like an everyday learning process or a fortune cookie which you’ll never have a single clue with what’s inside till you crack it. And somehow, I have stayed in here without passing out with the help of that particular fag. Seriously, I didn’t get emoish which they all expected when he decided to quit the job. Well, that signifies that I am a big girl now and I could handle things by myself. Of course, the digital gay dream is still here (though I need to choose between waking up too early or staying up too late just to have an actual conversation) so that really helps a lot.
The grand poker night went through with enough satisfaction. As expected, we boozed ourselves up to the limit, did some scandalous acts, cursed people and even touched (unintentional) someone else’s boobies (LMAO!!!) The party went off till sunrise and the only thing that kept us from breaking our vocal chords was the fact that we were so damn exhausted. I literally passed out without even making it to the real bed. I woke up hugging my bag, curled in the sofa with intolerable stomach ache. I scanned the area and recognized I wasn’t home yet. Thirty minutes later, the rest of the group were all up and I knew it was time to go home.
The booze I took that night made me realize that things are happening the way it should be; that I should learn how to stand alone and be brave to face all the shitty things that will come my way; that I should learn not to depend to other people. And maybe, just maybe… I was so scared to be alone not because I couldn’t be me but because I am scared to open up the real me. I was too ashamed to let this world know who I really am. I tend to pretend to be someone that I am not to cover up my shortcomings. I was so scared that they might not accept me the emoish, klutzy and insane me… Luckily, things are getting better. Slowly, things are getting better.
Yes, I am not witty or trivia cracker… I have lots of bloopers and retard moments. But I am funny and gregarious. So whether they accept me or not… I would still enjoy the remaining time that I will spent here in this sweet jungle. .. Seriously, the whole corporate idea wasn’t that bad after all.
No comments:
Post a Comment