Is respect should be earned or imposed?

For the past 24 years of my life, owning my surname has always been a matter of bliss for anyone who doesn’t know the truth about me. And to those who has shallow perception of authority or having power above anyone else. I am not one of them. I am a hypocrite if I tell you that I haven’t use my surname as an escape goat for something I did, but that just one tiny little trick I did and just once. Maybe at that moment, I thought that I could gain respect to other people just because I am part of a family who has power to dominate the people because of his political achievements. That is the shallow side of me talking and making the decision. Because I believe that no matter how high your position is, or how tough you are in the world, you have to prove yourself first before you gain this so-called respect you’ve been dying for.

But then again, am I right? Is respect should be earned or imposed?

We live in a very conservative and traditional country in which I honestly believe as a complete mockery of idealism. We were thought by our ancestors to respect your parents, your bosses, your political leaders, your teachers, etc. because they said they are above us. And no matter what happened, whether the situation is right or wrong or that person’s character is reputable enough or not, if you extend your thoughts and nagged their feelings… you’re screwed. Everyone will see you as the person-who-effed-the-authority-and-now-he-or-she-is-all-fucked-up.

I’ve been put to this kind of situation once in awhile, and as much as appalling it sounds, I literally wrack everyone’s nerves. One little incident I had was when I walked out on a project manager in my so-so previous job because he terminated me because of insubordination. I was pissed, not only because it was almost my last day of resignation (meaning I am already a resigned employee) but also because the issue was just a matter of touching his man-ego (which he actually admitted after I stormed out of the office at 3 o’clock in the morning). It was a long story and I already blogged about that months ago so if you want to know the whole details… kalkalin nyo na lang kung saan mang blog site ko nailagay un.

Life is all about being part of a certain group. A person can’t be just an individual and live with just him or herself. Whether big or small, it’s always been the case. And within a group, there’s always the leader and the member. There’s the hierarchy of power and authority that can’t be ignored. Thus, respect in this case should be imposed. No matter how wrong and unethical, when someone from the higher position ordered you to do something, no questions asked—it has to be done. You can suggest or give your insights but that depends on the kind of leader you have. If he or she is fond of dictatorship then you might as well shut your mouth and bury your ideas 6 feet under. But that kind of respect ends there. If respect became just a matter of obligation, well there’s an off beam attitude in that person’s style of management. Either you let yourself be handled by his or her crappy management system or you could just quit. That is how the cookie crumbles… darling!

When a person earned someone else’s respect, whatever reasons it may be—give that person a round of applause. Gaining respect from others by not involving any form of official obligation is something so hard to earn. However, there’s this saying that with great power comes great responsibilities. That person who ever he or she may be, must not abuse the kind of treatment being given to him or her. That person should at least be grateful and continue the wonders he or she have been contributing to the world.

Another thing that comes with this issue is the separation of official and unofficial relationship for both participants. It is very rare that you can combine your personal emotions with your business. There will always be a glitch and you can’t just deal with it. Point is you can’t combine friendship and business. Just like oil and water, scissors and paper, moon and sun. BUT, if both participants can draw the line between their personal emotions and business; no ifs and buts, we can just leave whatever crap I said above. But like what I’ve stated, this is very rare!

As for me, there are only few people in this world that I can firmly say that I give respect because they earned it. But there are lots of people that I respect because I just have to. I am the kind of person who you can never impress with charms, social standing, family background, money or any shallow reasons that shallow people use to gain respect from others. You can be the dumbest person on Earth but if you prove to me that you are worthy of my respect, I can bow my head down and kiss your feet with my Dior glossed lips. Nevertheless, you can be fuckin president of a country, but if you act and talk like a shit then our relationship can be purely for business purposes only.

But then again, Michael Jackson can’t heal the world with his song how much more my blog? So cut the crap and move on.