Disclaimer: I wrote this entry as an abridged version of my speech for the Career Orientation Week that I was supposed to attend but wasn't able to.
When the headmaster handed me my diplomat and flipped the
tassel on my graduation cap, I knew it was the beginning of a new life. As I
clenched my fist and looked at the remnants of my student life, I knew I have
to bid goodbye to my youth and welcome adulthood. I have high expectations and
fruitful dreams. I am ambitious and passionate because back then, I knew what I
want and I am so geared up to fulfill it. I perpetually remind myself that
immaturity is no longer an option, bullying is not a way to get respect and ignorance
is not an excuse to commit mistakes. Everything should be done according to
what is right and what is best for most people. I can still remember the vast
happiness and unexplainable excitement I have on the day of my graduation. I am
so ready to leave my childhood life and be an adult. I am so thrilled to face
people who are worldly and open-minded. I am so ecstatic to meet people who will
cut shit and owned up to it because after all, adulthood is the real world.
Boy was I wrong the
whole time…
High school is a dry run to prepare us from facing what
comes after because the real world is much depressing and repugnant. The real
world is just like high school. The difference is people are wearing suits and
paying taxes. I am so disappointed when I find out that the real world also has
jocks, nerds, outcasts, preps, sluts and royalties—and seriously, each one of
them is exactly the ones I hated or loved when I was still in my teen-ish years. Bullies have stronger bites;
back-stabbers have deeper stabs and ass-kissing are more than just a power-sucking-make-out.
People in the real world are hungrier for success and power so they CAN and they WILL eat you alive if you go against their way. So in order for you
to survive, you have two options; go against them and be eaten alive or be one
of them and eat the weaklings down to their very last breath.
Five years after my graduation, I am tediously performing
the latter. I chose not to be eaten alive and be the one in power. I kissed ass
even licked foot to get what I want. I am a heartless bitch and I am not afraid
to show it. But being an asshole is not what I signed up for. Even if this is a
matter of choice, it is not something I want. I tried to escape, quitting from
one company to another only to end up doing exactly what I have escaped for. It
is a horrible travesty and it sucks that I can’t do anything about it. So for
whatever crap I will do in the future… I
am sorry. People like me are not born asshole; I just had to be… so I could
fit in and survive.
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